this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 229 points 3 months ago

The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

[–] [email protected] 142 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards

They really aren't pulling their punches!

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[–] [email protected] 140 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

I love it.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Finally someone said it. I'm tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.

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[–] [email protected] 119 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.

[–] [email protected] 86 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago (5 children)

I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 months ago

There's some fun articles. Although I think they frequently drag on a little too long for a gag given my preference for not reading more than a few paragraphs at a time.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (2 children)

pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

That's only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 3 months ago (1 children)

upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

It took me like 15 😭

[–] [email protected] 58 points 3 months ago

I'm glad Americans are finally waking up. Biden may not be perfect, but he is the only candidate who can beat Trump. I'll be doing my part by voting for him as many times as possible this November!

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in. 

We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I'm not even American but I've already voted for Joe Biden several times. Just wrote the name down on pieces of paper and mailed them off. Adressed them to Joe Biden too, so that shit counts double. Put some extra stamps on them, and that's exponential growth in the number of times I voted for him. I'm practically a swing state of my own, the way I'm swinging my massive votes around.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

screenshotting this and sending it to fox news as an admission of guilt

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

I'm very afraid some maga is going to read this comment and take it seriously.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Im writting in Joe Biden this november biden-leftist

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Did you forget to ask someone? hillary-assassin

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

Based, thank you for your vote

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

But a vote for Joe Biden is a vote for Trump!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm voting Netscape Navigator. Lesser evil.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (7 children)
[–] [email protected] 75 points 3 months ago (5 children)

You might know him for his academic papers.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 3 months ago

Among other works

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

Hell yeah I'm writing him in

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!

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