this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 130 points 1 year ago (7 children)

please use hydrogen and not helium if you do this.

Helium is a precious, essential, non-renewable resource that the world is actually running out of.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Now I'm just imagining them coming back down, combusting, and people thinking the war of Armageddon has begun.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is this why I can't just go to the party store and buy hydrogen filled balloons?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, you really don't want an unplanned indoors Hindenburg reenactment because someone got too close to the birthday cake. Also it's difficult to store

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

But easy to make.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

St Peter checked them at the gates and all got sent back

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

"The fuck made you think Paul was so important?! The dude was one of the false prophets Jesus warned about, you morons!" -St. Peter, probably

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Better yet, attach a small explosive to them so once they get enough attention and people think the rapture is coming they suddenly burst into flames and explode.

That way the Christians really won't know what to think.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"God works in mysterious, explosive ways."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)

That's something I find funny. The second most abundant element in the universe and we're running out of our supply.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

It's not a laughing matter. The world used to be He He He He He He He but soon there'll be no more He He He.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Because we don't have spaceships to go out into the universe to collect it, so all we have is what has been trapped in deposits underground.

and a lot of it has been wasted on stupid shit like party balloons, and the overwhelming majority of the population does not understand how critically important helium is to manufacturing and medicine.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

@state_electrician @Dubious_Fart, the most abundant element in the universe, not renevable, is human stupidity

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)

You're right but the real advice is: just don't do this at all. These balloons pollute our oceans and forests.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't cover the sex dolls in what amounts to thermite and you should be fine.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Some cathing fire would probably help sell it: those poor sinners didn't get in!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Scarcity smarcity - do it so you can attach tiny timed fireworks to them, at the feet so they float upright and then EXPLODE at like 1000 feet

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Just release them far away from any power lines

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Eh? Can't we just pull it from the air?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

No, its literally lighter than air. it floats out into space, and it is not in a dense enough concentration where its possible to reharvest anyway.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

No, there's not enough in the atmosphere

[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Given the type of people that we are targeting here I think that helium blow-up dolls are are a bit of a waste, especially considering the scale that we would need to perform this on to actually make it somewhat believable. Better would be to use hydrogen, its soo much cheaper than helium, has better lift, and is not a limited resource. Along with that a custom order of human shaped and roughly human colored (with painted on clothes patterns) balloons would work better. Likely a lot cheaper if done at larger scales, blow up dolls are made of tougher material than your average balloon. This would also allow for the pursuit of more sustainable materials given that we are just sort of releasing this stuff into the sky.

There is also a matter of making it realistic. If we are limiting to maybe one city then its best to create some devices that automatically release them on timed schedules. load these up with a handful of people balloons each and let them release with increasing frequency throughout the day. Should be a bit more convincing and gets a bigger effect. For cleanup we already filled these guys with hydrogen, so why not just light them up. might make for a good effect and leave less waste to be examined, making it more difficult to prove that this is not a rapture event.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You got it all tought out beforehand didn't you?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Dude was waiting for this moment a long time!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Sounds like a plan. I'm in

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That bottom left picture is from the TV show "Six Feet Under." In the scene the helium filled blowup dolls get loos from the net holding them down. A woman sees the dolls flying by and assumes the rapture is happening. She runs out into the street yelling, "Take me Jesus!" And then gets hit by a car and dies.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

That one has to be my favorite death scene of the whole series. That show was sooo good...

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Nono, use hydrogen and have ignitors on a timer or altitude switch.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

What a fresh sprog! Beautiful as always

[–] Freshfrozenplasma 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

I look forward to your poems sprog!

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

May god raputure them right into the power lines.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Wrap them in tinfoil for maximum radar cross-section

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You need to weigh the feet down, but I'm willing to help. Cheap shoes and duct tape should do the trick

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Save the money and waste, just tape some coins to the bottoms of the feet. The bottom doesn’t have to be that much heavier.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You think coins are cheaper than stones?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

“Shoes” is a really funny spelling of “Stones”

Edit: Got curious, and in my area there aren’t many rocks or stones, so you would have to buy them. They come in bulk between 2 and 3 inches in size at about a dollar a pound. For thirty pounds. Pennies take between 145 and 181 to make a pound depending on the materials of the penny. The pro to coins would be that you didn’t need to buy extra to maintain a precise weight per inflated sex doll, and they could be balanced easily on both feet for weight, where as with stones you would need to make sure you are well balanced for every doll and for every foot. Assuming you could instantly sort them all into evenly weighed piles you would still likely have stones left over, either as excess, or as outliers in our balancing that would be difficult for you to sell or get any other utility from.

In that case, yes, it’s cheaper to use coins because of the time sink and wastage that bulk stones would create, assuming an endless field of stones, the time spent sorting them into sizes and balancing them would cost more in labor than the pennies lost is worth.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I didn't consider the balancing part, but gravel parking lots negate your other points in my opinion. But, then again, my confusion of shoes and stones negates everything anyway.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The majority of the population in the states resides in metropolitan areas. I am one of them. There are no gravel parking lots. The closest we could come is breaking up the sidewalk antifa style 😉

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[–] threelonmusketeers 1 points 1 year ago

What about water? Automatically flows to the lowest point, you can add the exact amount you need, and cheap.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ahhh, the ole Six Feet Under cold opening.

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[–] wheeldawg 6 points 1 year ago

It my mom saw that she would lose her shit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Omg, I'm dying at this image

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

And go out in the middle of the night before and leave piles of clothes all over town

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

That already happened back in 2011 if I'm not mistaken

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