this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023
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[–] [email protected] 145 points 1 year ago (10 children)

I already don't eat breakfast and I'm still poor, what now WSJ???

[–] [email protected] 74 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Economists hate this one SECRET HACK you can do to avoid poordom. Among investmentology specialists it is a well guarded secret that switching to a making money framework instead of the popular losing money framework has a long term net positive effect on your private economy.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Of course, the answer was right in front of me! I just need to pull on those bootstraps harder

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[–] [email protected] 92 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Of course this comes from the wall street journal lmao straight propaganda

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm not religious, but I do feel like writing something like this is comparable to selling your soul to the devil. The person who wrote this abandoned their humanity for capitalists and they should be ashamed.

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[–] fresh 73 points 1 year ago (4 children)

β€œInstead of seeking happiness, save money with misery”

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My prescriptions cost so much too. Maybe I should just stop taking my antidepressants and see how it rides out. .

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 year ago

Tomorrow's headline, "Millenials are single handedly killing the breakfast industry".

[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Pro-tip: You can save money on living expenses if you just live in a cardboard box by the roadside and die.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Please not by the roadside, noone wants to see your progress to absolute freedom.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

That’s illegal in many places. Illegal to be on a roadside, illegal to kill yourself.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 year ago

The Wall Street Journal is just shitposting for rich people.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Maybe we should eat billionaires instead

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Aside from being tone deaf, I think this is bad advice. Common breakfast foods are fairly cheap comparatively and I'm pretty sure most nutritionists recommend eating something for breakfast to kickstart your metabolism. If I were skipping/reducing a meal, it would be lunch.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Gluconeogenesis does that well enough.

Plenty of people don't eat breakfast. I'll be nauseous for the rest of the day if I have anything before noon.

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 year ago

To not get murdered, die right now...

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Maybe the WSJ has a point; we could save a lot of money if we stopped buying breakfast and just ate the WSJ staff instead

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They act like most of us even have time to make breakfast like we're living in some 90's sitcom

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's people like you that make me look like an asshole. Every morning I wake up at 3am to squeeze orange juice, make sausage gravy, biscuits, waffles, 5 omelettes, 40 pancakes, 6lbs of bacon, hash browns, buttered toast, and right after my son comes down the stairs, puts his ball cap on, grabs a single piece of bacon, heads out the door in a rush, I chase him down with a PB&J he inevitably always forgets. But it's not like I want to waste 40lbe of food per day. Some days I just want my son to sit down and eat the 40lbs of food I prepared. He may think I'm overbearing but I'm really overcaring.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

"We know life is Hard, but have you tried Ultra Hard by skipping the most important meal of the day and starting out famished?"

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

Off topic but I don't think breakfast is any more or less important than a meal any other time of the day. Most days I only eat one big meal around dinnertime and maybe have a few bites of some snack throughout the day. I've been like that for years now it started from doing 12 hour construction shifts where I'd just work all day with a coffee and maybe an apple or something then eat a big meal once I was home. I don't do construction anymore but the way I eat stuck with me. It's probably worth pointing out that I'm very fit and a healthy bodyweight (5'10 152lbs) and I don't suffer any negative effects from living like this. I'd say I'm healthier than 90% of the people I know.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you don't have enough money for bread, buy cake instead!

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (4 children)

"And while you're at it, do you really NEED to sleep?"

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I hope whoever wrote this trips in their bathroom and gets a severe brain injury.

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[–] TopShelfVanilla 34 points 1 year ago

Your life is hard? Add malnourishment and see if that helps.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I see they moved on from telling us not to have avocado to toast to just not have any toast.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

No need to skip meals, there's plenty of rich to eat

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Maybe I should get more money and live a normal life yea?

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Have you tried not being poor?

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

nO bOdY iS bUyInG aNytHinG!!!!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

17 industries that millennials are killing; #11 will make you shit in your own mouth in anger!

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I already skip breakfast, gonna need additional money saving tips...

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (3 children)

No worries, I've got you. Skip lunch to save additional money.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] wtvr 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

You may not believe it but you can skip dinner too

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Sleep for dinner again? But I had that last night!

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago

The headline is as valid as "just stop being poor"

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It's fun and games, but lately I've seen 2 colleagues eating from the office kitchen the leftovers of extra bread and cream cheese, instead of ordering. It's actually sad.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Skip 1 meal to save money

Skip 2 meals to lose weight

Skip all 3 meals and end world hunger

It's just that simple.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Haha the poors should just eat less food! Problem solved!

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

We need a Marx-as-Clippy emoji for "it seems that it may be time to improve society somewhat. Would you like help with that?" marx-hi

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

To save even more money, switch over completely to a diet of things you find on the ground.

To save even more money, stop bathing, showering and brushing your teeth.

To save even more money, stop living in a house and move into the sewers.

To save even more money, stop wearing clothes.

To save even more money, stop communicating with expensive words, settling instead for grunting, growling and maybe barking like a dog. Consider filing your teeth pointy.

To save even more money, stop using tools. Emerge from your sewer hideout only at night to prowl the streets on all fours, feral and bewildered, eyes grown pale and milky from years in the dark sewers darting maniacally back and forth while your filth-encrusted teeth and nails twitch in anticipation of the slightest movement.

This is how I was able to afford a starter house by age 30. This and a $400 000 loan from my father.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

I thought this was a joke, but no, it's real.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Yeahh intermittent fasting bro πŸ’ͺ /s

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