this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2024
498 points (97.9% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Superimpose the text "somewhere in this image are my terrorism plans" so they have to spend hours studying the picture in detail

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

And then actually get the Darth Plagueis the Wise copypasta in there somewhere.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Omg how could I have not heard this song before?! And it's 8 years old! What a banger!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

Dude, Knower is great. You should also check out songs like Time Traveller and Butts Tits Money

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Louis Coles new album is worth checking out , he's the drummer.

Also the drummer of Clown Core.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Don't even have to watch, I already know what song this is.

Edit: yep. The government knows.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

I don't know what I just watched. All I know is before the end of the song I was dancing naked and masturbating in front of my webcam.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

This is awesome

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

A fine addition to my schizocore collection

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Better hope you don't have a small dick, or you'll tick all the terrorist profile markers and be in jail before you know it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I am not in jail, that doesn't make sense

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

I have a miniature cock and am not imprisoned, so I'd call major BS

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

And then they assume you have pics of teenage boy cock on your drive.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Gotta get some unpleasant bodily function photos in there as well. Big unbroken dookie, unfolded snot rag, infected ingrown toenail, you know, real degenerate shit.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"The full, detailed write up of my plans are within this cumbox, search carefully and thoroughly, many key details are very well hidden."

[–] andrew_bidlaw 12 points 2 months ago

Eating shit, vomiting and masturbating while dictating your manifesto in detail.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

joke's on anon, the only thing nsa ever wanted is spy on everyone's dickpics without having to go in person

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hot NSA agent: I need to get me some of this dick in this pic! Checks OP's file for his address, sees red flags from his other antics Damn, nevermind!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Lmao "theft of government property". Those charges are somehow more upsetting than the act of hoarding all those dick pics.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Its also an onion esqu article.

[–] lowered_lifted 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

no shit lol I wonder where people who think it's real think the government is getting their dick pics. I once had someone try to bullshit me by saying that the sensors on automatic urinals were cameras collecting dick pics, I wonder if that is last of the conspiracy here, maybe they think that's real

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Also the perpetrators name is Hilary Wang

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

The only flaw in this plan is that maximum dick pics is the only reason why they surveil everyone

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

For extra points, write some random almost coherent stuff, ROT13 it then steganographise it into those dick pics.

[–] lowered_lifted 2 points 2 months ago

all that's gonna get the OP is a new buddy who really wants to help him start shit and will provide all the materials even