this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2024
53 points (100.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26279 readers
1442 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 27 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

I was raised catholic, I always feel that guilt 100% of the time

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 days ago

We were going to a concert and my partner dressed fancier than I thought made sense. I made an offhand remark about just dress like every day and that made her feel bad. She just liked having an excuse to dress up and I accidentally (because it wasn't my intent) robbed that from her. I felt super shitty about it. I won't ever say anything like that again.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

I started dating someone and then realized pretty fast I didn't like him that way.

The dude was already pretty depressed as a baseline, and I feel like giving him hope and then taking it away like that has dropped him pretty deep into negativity.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ghosting someone (multiple really) when I just couldn't handle all the things they expect me to do. It's childish and very much my own mistake for not being clear with my boundary and overestimating my mental energy.

Slowly making it up one person to the next.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Oooh I do this. How do you make it up to them? Without risking it all happening again?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

All the time for the past few months, I went through a break up because of my own stupidity, but recently she wants to talk again, but lightly, and with the fact that nothing romantic is possible. I tried talking to more people and even one I caught a few feelings for but I realized I didn't actually like them and it just made me realize how great she was again. I just constantly feel guilty cause I want to try again but I know I don't deserve another chance, and other parts of my life with me trying to find a new place to live, a new job, dealing with college classes that I didn't really wanna do. I just feel like a constant failure when I had so much opportunity. Got depression meds, and they worked for a while, but they are working less and less now.

[–] jubilationtcornpone 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Not so much what I did as what I didn't do. I was picking up a birthday cake for one of my kids and I was standing in line behind a lady who was obviously doing the same thing. Based on her appearance and the fact that she was fumbling through her wallet while on the phone with the bank, I got the sense that she was a little short on cash.

Something told me I should go ahead and pay for her cake. I could easily afford it so why not? For whatever reason I chickened out. I don't know why.

I left there with my kids birthday cake, feeling very ashamed of myself. It was a small thing and yet to me it was a serious moral failure.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago

I just put myself in that scenario and had the thought "man, what if she's flustered about something else, and having a rough day in general, then I go and swoop in and basically accuse her of being poor in public. She'd feel terrible and I will have made her day worse."

You would have walked out of there feeling like shit in two of the three ways that could have gone. Don't beat yourself up over it; clearly you're empathetic and care about people. That tells me you DO act when it's appropriate and you do want to be a positive force in this world. Congratulations! The world is better with you in it

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

I had to tell my GM I didn't like their campaign, even though they put a lot of work into it :(

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

My partner recently had a financial and vehicle emergency and to help out I moved in with her. I now drive her around and help pay for her rent. I was supposed to stay for a week and now it's been about two months.

I moved out of my parents to do this and because I cannot afford it, I do not pay part of their rent now. They can afford to get by, but my dad's work van recently broke down and he works out of that truck so it has affected his income and he now has to replace the van which is very expensive.

They are now struggling financially and I feel like I could help if I move back in with them to help pay for rent. They are now in the same situation my partner was in two months ago, but I have not left to help them and it eats me up inside every morning when I wake up.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

You can’t save everybody. It’s already very nice you helped them out earlier

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Best friend from high school cut me loose after my divorce. We haven't had any contact in 20+ years. Not long ago I randomly ran across an obit where his mom died. Considered sending something to his dad since his folks were always nice to me. Probably should have done but I wussed out. Hope his dad is doing ok. Feels bad, man.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You can still send a "Hey thinking about you, thanks for being nice to me growing up.".

The second best time is right now and all that.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You're right, of course. It's kind of a can of worms, though.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

And...dudes parent died. Screw the worms, that was over 20 years ago.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

Nice try, my brain

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Bear hugged a belayer while in the middle of belaying a climber. Had no idea he was belaying thought he was untieing his knot. Nobody was hurt and nothing happened but I cringe every time I think about it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Literally all the time, but OK...

Last Saturday night, bored, make an impulse decision to buy soccer tickets. Get some really nice seats, front row of the second level. Seats 1 and 2, on the aisle.

Get to the stadium moments before kick-off, head to our section, there's a guy and his wife sitting in the two seats on the aisle. I ask if they're sure they're in the right place and show him my tickets: seats 1 and 2, right on the aisle. He looks confused, apologizes, they leave. As my wife and I are sitting down, I see the little seat number I missed before. These are seats 20 and 19...the wrong end of the row from where we're supposed to be. I mistakenly assumed the seats were numbered left to right, but they're right to left for some reason.

Cringe, wonder if they'll notice or if they'll just take the open seats down on the far end of the row. Look over and I see the guy looking at seats 1 and 2 and scowling. The teams are lining up, the game has just started. I sigh and head into the concourse, catch up with the guy as he is coming back down from the right side of the section.

I apologize, say it was totally my mistake, offer to let them keep seats 1-2 since they're here already, guy insists on taking back seats 20-19 since that's what he paid for. Completely understand, sorry again for the misunderstanding.

While we're in the concourse straightening things out, the home team scores what will end up being their only goal of the game. We both miss it. We go on to lose 3-1.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Forgot my best friend's birthday. We don't normally get each other anything, or celebrate in any way, so it slipped my mind. Felt awful and wanted to turn back time so bad.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

You just gotta prepare something for their birthday next year. No need for something big, just thoughtful. Add a sincere apology or two and I'm sure they will appreciate it.

I also tend to forget someone's birthday other than my partner and immediate family so I just put them in my calendar. No more accidentally forget about friends' birthday, unless I'm really busy and my ADHD acting up.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A few days ago. I talked about our kid with my Sambo and was telling her that some of his behavior can be annoying.

The kid walked by in the hallway, probably hearing some of that.

Felt very ashamed.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Sorry, I didn't realize it's not the same in English. :) It's when you live together with someone but you are not married. You are both registered on the address and usually own the apartment or house together.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I hope OC clears this up because my understanding is that's the Spanish equivalent of the n word

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Someone was harassing an unrequited crush of his and I have an inkling I was harsh on the harasser because of his issues and the fact I was taunt-like when dealing with him. After a day there was an eerie silence and I thought about it for a while.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

30 years ago