this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] ArbitraryValue 135 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm not sure what other outcome this woman could reasonably have expected.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

For real, especially if they were role playing up to that point. I know all the Wario stans would gladly take a hot glazing of Wum to the face but you gotta expect the waaaaaaaaaaah.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

She's probably as autistic as OP but she probably a cute girl so had load of normal guys smashing and didn't really have to think about much.

[–] [email protected] 80 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This sounds like one of those teen movies from the early 2000s.

This whole scenario could have been Stifler from American Pie. Dare you to tell me I'm wrong.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

I'd rent that at the BlockBuster for ¢99.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But... but... he dared you... How dare you!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Swords at midnight.

There can be only one.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

/slaps you with a steel gauntlet of enduring numbness +4

[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] whyNotSquirrel 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

terminal cancer

[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago (1 children)

RP verisimilitude > enjoyable sex

I don't make the rules

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I had to look that word up

sex noun 1. (chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. "they enjoyed talking about sex"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Where did you find that definition? That wasn't the definition I remembered so I looked it up too and I found what I thought it was but not what you found. Was that on urban dictionary?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He had to look up the word sex.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ahhh my bad, I'm dumb and read it wrong, ty

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

It wooshed me on the first read, I probably wouldn't have gotten the joke if your comment didn't make me do a double take 🙂

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago

imma Wario ima gonna cum!

This better not awaken anything in me.jpeg

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Just because of that? Was the rest of the sex also disappointing?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

He wario'd to completion

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

fake && gay

[–] ZombiFrancis 6 points 2 months ago

Was anon's spouse the Mario at the swinger party?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Nobody would get horny at that party.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Are you kidding? I'm getting horny over here just masturbating about it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You did not had to share this fact with us.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Yes he did. It's in his contact.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Nerds know how to get down, bro.