this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] ArbitraryValue 130 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I'm not sure what other outcome this woman could reasonably have expected.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

For real, especially if they were role playing up to that point. I know all the Wario stans would gladly take a hot glazing of Wum to the face but you gotta expect the waaaaaaaaaaah.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

She's probably as autistic as OP but she probably a cute girl so had load of normal guys smashing and didn't really have to think about much.

[–] [email protected] 79 points 6 days ago (2 children)

This sounds like one of those teen movies from the early 2000s.

This whole scenario could have been Stifler from American Pie. Dare you to tell me I'm wrong.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 days ago

I'd rent that at the BlockBuster for ¢99.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

But... but... he dared you... How dare you!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

Swords at midnight.

There can be only one.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago

/slaps you with a steel gauntlet of enduring numbness +4

[–] [email protected] 48 points 6 days ago (1 children)

RP verisimilitude > enjoyable sex

I don't make the rules

[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I had to look that word up

sex noun 1. (chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. "they enjoyed talking about sex"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Where did you find that definition? That wasn't the definition I remembered so I looked it up too and I found what I thought it was but not what you found. Was that on urban dictionary?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago (1 children)

He had to look up the word sex.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

Ahhh my bad, I'm dumb and read it wrong, ty

[–] [email protected] 50 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] whyNotSquirrel 28 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

terminal cancer

[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 days ago

imma Wario ima gonna cum!

This better not awaken anything in me.jpeg

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago

Just because of that? Was the rest of the sex also disappointing?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago

fake && gay

[–] ZombiFrancis 6 points 5 days ago

Was anon's spouse the Mario at the swinger party?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

He wario'd to completion

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Nobody would get horny at that party.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Are you kidding? I'm getting horny over here just masturbating about it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You did not had to share this fact with us.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

Yes he did. It's in his contact.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago

Nerds know how to get down, bro.