this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Never take powerball tips from powerball winners.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Never admit to being a powerball winner.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (6 children)

(my bold)

According to the Guinness World Records website, Branyas believed her longevity stemmed from “order, tranquility, good connection with family and friends, contact with nature, emotional stability, no worries, no regrets, lots of positivity and staying away from toxic people”.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

The real secret to longevity is to have spotty health records and a difficult to verify birth certificate. Bonus points if you're in a country that has undergone multiple radical regime changes.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

(Political) scientists don't want you to know this one weird trick to eternal life!

[–] rowrowrowyourboat 12 points 2 weeks ago

No regrets

Damn. I regret that I lived a life with regrets. Add that to the list of regrets.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

What are you supposed to do if you are the toxic people?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
  • Find your toxic traits
  • stop doing them
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Die, I guess.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Focus on yourself instead destroying others in jealousy

[–] [email protected] -1 points 2 weeks ago

I'm not too concerned about toxic centenarians.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, fuck all that noise

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I plan to outlive all of my enemies out of pure spite and toxicity so that one day I can piss on their graves/ashes.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Thinking like this could lead you to die earlier. Stress kills. If you can let anything go, you could try.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

I plan to outlive my enemies so I can pour out a bottle of the finest scotch on their grave, after it has been filtered through my kidneys.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

I'm probably going to die tomorrow 😐

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

To be fair, I think many of us would be far too tempted to mess with people if we lived that long. How many people here would say something absolutely ridiculous like, "I drink my own piss at least once a week!" Or, "I catch and eat all the squirrels that get near by bird feeders!"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

"Need to live to 100...better drink my own piss"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

To be fair, I think many of us would be far too tempted to mess with people if we lived that long.

I absolutely will.

Nobody knows shit about what happened before they were born. I'm gonna have half the world convinced that my first phone was a Commodore.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

The centurian in my family smoked, drank heavily at times, dipped, ate fat, drank raw milk, worked out in the sun all day.

All the people close to her also did those things and died in their 60's

She made it to 104 and was pretty miserable about everything by the end.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I'm just imagining some frail centenarian beginning to address a small crowd, and from random pockets of empty space, scientists in lab coats spring, vaulting towards the aged person, quiet-shouting "hey-HEY-NO, DON'T. Don't listen to them! hey. HEY. NO. DON'T DO IT.-shut up old man-IGNORE HIM."

[–] [email protected] -5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

"We have no fucking idea how to do what they've done and we haven't done it ourselves, but please keep paying us to figure it out rather than learning from them for free."

I normally side with scientists, but they need to shut up and sit down, on this one.

I'll accept "pick which old person you take advice from, many are assholes." as a fair bit of advice, though.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

It's the wrong phrasing but the right take. We shouldn't take anecdotal advice about being healthy.