this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 119 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Slap you thigh and stand up and say “Welp, it’s getting late…”, then say whatever you need to be doing.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Where in the Midwest did you grow up?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 53 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Be direct. "It's been great, but I have other things to take care of (or get to bed if night). See you later!"

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 months ago (6 children)

They literally asked "oh, what do you have to take care of?" I said "I have an oil change scheduled" and they said "oh I can go with you"

[–] [email protected] 50 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"No thanks"

Look, I understand, I have social anxiety, but you just need to say what you want and move on. Of they don't like it, then they don't like it - who cares?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This. I think this person has just shown that it's really important to set boundaries with them, and not worry if they like it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Or better yet, don’t assume whether they’ll like it or not.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Tell them, "Sure! You can ride in the trunk 👍"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago (2 children)

“My wife and I planned something special for tonight and I have to do my anal douche.”

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Well, I am gay so... you're not wrong.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

"You're not going to believe this, but I brought my anal douche, just in case you wanted to douche together!"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

That person desperately needs someone in their life to tell them the truth.

“I am done hanging out. I need to be alone now”

Some people are autistic and as an autistic person myself believe me when I say there is like one in ten thousand people who will actually tell the truth, and they only do it once in a blue moon.

Be that person.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

It happens. Sometimes just "I need some personal time."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

“That would be fun but after that I have to xxxxxxx for my mom, then….xxxxxx”

Imply the ‘no’ - that would be butttttt nope.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 months ago (1 children)

As an autistic person I feel like i'm over staying my welcome sometimes, the easiest way to confront me is be like "hey, great to see you but I have other stuff to do. We should do this again"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm not autistic but I do have a lot of fear about over staying my welcome. It has gotten to the point where I would politely ask if I over stayed or if my welcome has expired. I find that being direct is the fastest and most efficient for both parties.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Yes that can be helpful if you are the one feeling you are overstaying, a good amount of the time people are really nice and honest about things so that's really helpful

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago (2 children)

"Let's go to bed so these people can go home."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Works especially well for brunch guests.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

That's great. I might steal this one!

[–] whatevs 28 points 3 months ago

Put everything away. Clear the food, drinks. If it’s night yawn repeatedly “well, got an early morning need to turn in.” If it’s daytime you have another thing planned. “Gotta get the car serviced.”

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago

I personally say in a friendly tone "I'm sorry but I have to kick you out now because I have xxx things to do."
Add something appreciative about their visit/your meeting like "it was great to see you", "thanks for stopping by" or something.

If you are just socially spend, you could also say that. "I hate to kick you out, but I can't people anymore today/my social capacity is spent/it was all a bit much for me today."

People will understand if you are direct. We all have shit to do and limited resources.
Being honest and direkt is often less weird than dancing around the fact that you want them to leave.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

My housemate in college would yell something so everyone looked and then take off his paints and say everyone get the fuck out, see you next weekend

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago

“I’m getting tired, it’s time for you to go.”

Some people are just too oblivious and need things spelled out for them. So spell it out.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But that's how I started the party.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Say to your wife: "Wife, we go to bed now. The guests surely want to go home as well."

:-)

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Be direct and tell them to leave. Be polite if appropriate, but when a guest isn’t getting the message, sometimes you just need to make it simple.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

If you're Cuban, you say, "Wait, don't leave yet. I'm about to make coffee." It means you're telling them to leave after the coffee.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It may help to start setting an end time. Instead of, "I can hang out at 6." Tell them, "I can hang out from 6-8." If they still won't leave you might have to be firm with them. No is a complete sentence, and you don't need to explain why.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

“No”

“I’m sorry, No?”

“No”

“No what?”

“No”

“Should I leave now?”

“… … No no”

“No I shouldn’t leave?”

“No”

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

"it's been fun, but I'm tired now. Look forward to seeing you another time."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Some great advice here. I also like this piece of verbal judo: “I have taken up too much of your time, I will let you go now. I have bored you enough with my pedantic nonsense.”

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

I find it annoying when people talk like this. It sounds like you forced the other person to be with you, or that you consider yourself so important that the other person would sacrifice their comfort for you.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Serve them sausages, a Danish tradition

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Yell "get the fuck out" (jk) an alternative would be "please leave"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

I start cleaning my guns

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (5 children)

INFO: How old are they and what is their relationship to you (sibling, coworker, friend, in-law, etc)?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Fart loudly? Call the police?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Serve them kelp tea.

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