this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 52 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Go play the Borderlands shooters. Go watch six-hour gameplay videos of it on YouTube. Go get several chlamydia tests back to back. Every one of those options are far more useful and far, far less painful than this.

Ouch lol

[–] southsamurai 22 points 4 months ago

The entire review was more brutal than a cannibal corpse concert. Like, my feelings hurt, and I wasn't even interested in the movie, much less involved in it.

[–] Shampiss 21 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Movie adaptations are Hollywood's equivalent of a tourist trap. Of course it will be crap 95% of the time

Adaptations from a work that originated in another format are difficult to pull off. But that's only part of why most adaptations are bad. Marketing knows that if there's a big franchise name in the title, the movie will turn a profit no matter how bad it is

"insult to gamers and movie lovers"

I've seen this sort of article written every time a franchise is adapted to a series/movie

Holy shit I'm so fucking tired of these. Will we never collectively learn not to fall for marketing stunts like these?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

It's not even so bad it's good like the first Mario Brothers was. There's this strange tertiary connection to the source material like someone was explaining the game to a writer who had never played the game and the director had their assistant read them the script. Weird weird choices were made. Like I can't believe Im saying this but, that was the blandest delivery of "I'll lick your spine" I've ever heard.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Do you think they wanted a TV show and were forced to slim it down to a movie? I only saw the trailer but it seemed completely unfocused.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

That's a really good observation. I don't think a longer movie would've helped but if they could've explored the characters more in a season? I think that would've been much better, also slimming the scale down to just a few missions and boss fight I think would've been much better. I remember some of those mid to late game areas lasting me an hour and a half and being very cinematic.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah... I feel like they wanted to go down we the worst video game adaptation in history and that's a really high... er... low bar.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's honestly impressive how low Uwe Boll can go.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

It helps when the whole thing is just a ruse to profit off a tax loophole in German law. Once that loophole was closed, Boll was done.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

I didn't have any hope for this because of how much I love the original, but now I somehow have less hope.