this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
137 points (91.5% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 4 months ago

Go back and shit again over her shit to (re)establish dominance, and remember to facetime her bf so he can compare the farts.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 25 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Be an alpha about it.

  • Anon - "Yo sis, I heard you admiring my poop."
  • Anon's Sis - "Ew gross! That was you?!"
  • Anon - "Anytime." (mic drop motion)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago

I read this in Aziz's voice from Parks and Rec.

Parks and Rec characters saying "Treat yo self"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

This will either succeed epicly or fail hilariously, no in between.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

This is just so unhinged and disconnected from reality that its good

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Alright, Anon got me with that one. I literally said, "What the fuuuuck," out loud.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

My biggest question is why after shouting "EW POOPY" the sister would have stopped to inspect the poop instead of just flushing it? Anon says he's hungover too so you know it had to be a real nasty one...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

She won't go near it so she's outside the doorway with binoculars

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

I hope someone gave dude advice on recovering from a hangover because that's all he needs