Ask Lemmy

How do you make friends with social media?

Discord is social media. What you need, my friend, are hobbies. Or the meetup app. Or to just go look up events in your area and go to them. Hobbies work because then you can find other people locally who are also into your ~~fetish~~ hobby.

You need to make an effort to put yourself in places where you can meet people. Often this takes the form of finding a community with a common interest. This could be a hobby, a lecture, a course, book club, gardening, etc.

Other places where you meet people can be a workplace, a volunteering effort, social gatherings like listening to a band, orchestra or a play.

You can go to the local coffee shop and spend time there watching people. If you do this regularly, you're likely to meet people whom you can talk to and interact with.

If you already know people, acquaintances, then organise or participate in activities with them.

Social media is an add-on to life, not life itself.

The way to make friends is essentially finding ways to interact with other humans, preferably in places where you like to enjoy yourself.

Meetup.com and volunteering.

Volunteer. You'll meet the best people.

I'll tell you when I find out.

Board games. Find people who play board, card or roleplaying games. Sign up to an open group to play. Its an extremely social hobby with no pressure - you're just there to play, and if some joking around and friendship happens, its a great bonus.

Join a team or club in something that interests you.

Meetup.com, search some interests, find some groups, go to some events, talk to people and slowly build those connections with those that you click with. Or all that via more general web searching, meetup is just a convenient hub.

I'm a firm believer in friends through building solidarity. I helped organize a union at my workplace, and became a steward. Being united in struggle has brought me closer to the people around me. If you're too nervous for that, volunteer for a local cause you care about. If there aren't any, start organizing your community.

I don't know how to do it this generation style. In my gen, meeting through events and staying connected. Maybe you're a parent with kids and the kids are friends, naturally you will mingle with other parents.

Or join a sports team. You will quickly make friends there.

Join some other events you like. I dunno, like beer brewing clubs or something...

Thinking back how I made mine, most were from school, jobs, or sports. I had some internet friends but none of them were anything like my real local ones.

I started a business that involves going into stranger's homes. Most of my new friends are old ladies.

Are people you follow and who follow you really friends or is it primarily just about increasing the amount of followers? I've never had any social media aside from MySpace, but I consider my friends as family. Sure, I bet a lot of Instagram accounts have more followers than I have friends, but we're all stoked to know one another and it has nothing to do with appearances.

I'm not sure if he is my friend yet but I met another dad at the playground. Our children played a bit together so we started talking. Then at the end we gave each other our phone numbers and now our wifes who are both Korean stay in touch via KakaoTalk which is again a Korean social network ...

find a hobby and join up with folks that do the same locally. join a gym. go to a local pub and watch some sports. I find this far better than social media, however I also live in a (small) city; i don't know how people manage in rural areas.

Interact with local people in your area or wherever you go.

Write letters to your current friends if you know their mail address.

Look at business cards from other people.

If you have neighbors, get to know them.

These are some ideas I came up with for you.

Go to the bar every weekend.

If you find yourself getting too drunk a little coke will straighten you right now.

Do you mean meeting people? Or feeling like you're supposed to share things on social media as part of a friend group or else you're left out of things?

If you mean where to meet people, go anywhere a few times and you'll start to see the same people - like a dog park or walking trails; take a class or join an activity you like through your local parks and rec- i was just looking for a beginning welding class; in my area there's a sports and social club that does bowling leagues, beer pong tournaments, kickball games, etc. and several local game shops do board game nights.

Do you just accept that Instagram and shit are the way people interact and use it?

Yes. Without it I would probably be even more lonely than I am today.

Join your city's discord and go to the meetups

Nope. That's why I have about 8 really good friends and that's it.

Unfortunately I don't know how to help you. I met my friends in secondary school and we have been friends since then.