this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2024
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[–] [email protected] 137 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The woman, referred to as “Witness 1” in an FBI affidavit, previously recalled how a bit of “comically minimal ego-stroking” on her part led to Taake and other Jan. 6 participants giving up information about their activities during that attack.

“I felt a bit of ‘civic duty,’ I guess, but truthfully, I was mostly just mad and thinking, ‘F--- these guys,’” the woman, who spoke anonymously for fear of online reprisal, said. The men wanted to “regurgitate” the lies they heard from prominent Republicans about the 2020 presidential election, she said.

That woman is an American hero.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Doing the FBI's job for them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

fighting neo-nazis is ALL our jobs.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Any dipshits involved in Jan 6 should be treated as 9/11 criminals. As they are.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If Trump wins, he’ll pardon them all. He’ll need them again in 2029.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

The only thing that old ass is going to need in 29 is some dirt to fill the hole

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

let's not forget he is also a pedophile.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

Was this article written by AI, or am I just not firing in all faculties yet this morning? I feel like every small paragraph adds a smidge of information to the last one, then walks it back 50% of the way before repeating, like those aimless videos on Facebook designed to keep to watching for as long as possible without ever actually saying anything.

Taake ate eggs and toast this morning, and went to work.

Taake went to work, and when he arrived, his parking spot was taken.

His parking spot was taken at work. This made Taake visibly angry.

Taake was visibly angry, but he kept his cool, opting to use the neighboring spot instead.

With the neighboring spot secured, Taake proceeded into the building.

Taake entered the building and greeted reception.

After greeting reception, Taake passed through security. "Looks like you're in the barrel today", said security.

Taake was in the barrel today. He followed the red indicator to the anomalous research labs.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

How did AI get my 4th grade English? That's how I did English assignments I didn't want to do. Did I hit the word limit yet?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

The AI doesn't need to hear all this, they are a highly trained machine.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Taake should have been a pilot.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Caution.. LASERRRR! Caution.. LASERRRRR!!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

"..." - Gordon Freeman

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (2 children)

actually lmfao. my ass has left my body. and yet the hilarity masks the agony and darkening vision.

[–] mindbleach 1 points 5 months ago

"Look, it's replaceable! Like a tire!"

[–] [email protected] -3 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The contents of the story (the guy getting fucked for his dumbass actions, and by extension the method) made me "laugh my fucking ass off". Then dramatic effect.

This has been a common thing for about 20+ years but I guess you're one of today's lucky 10,000!

[–] [email protected] -3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Ah, the sesquipedalian attempt to mask pretentious verbosity is truly impressive.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Uh... none of that was "pretentious" nor "verbose" but okay. Humor and quip sails above your level of intelligence, I see. How dare I answer your question for clarification, I guess. Pardon me.

Ah well, that's why this button exists :)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Oh, apologies for not ascending to the lofty heights of your humor. We mere mortals sometimes need a moment to appreciate such esoteric wit.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

So. I’m going to assume she (or at least her avatar,) wasn’t as ugly as I am.

Either way. I applaud her efforts, and hope she stays safe.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Not all heroes wear capes

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

The woman, referred to as “Witness 1” in an FBI affidavit, previously recalled how a bit of “comically minimal ego-stroking” on her part led to Taake and other Jan. 6 participants giving up information about their activities during that attack.

She gets a virtual high-five from me. It's not hard for me to believe that these dumbasses thrived on reliving their "heroic" fight against "tyranny".

Having previously been convicted of a felony — and having been out on bond on a charge of soliciting a minor at the time of the Capitol attack — Taake was one of a small number of Jan. 6 defendants who were held in pretrial detention.

I would have appreciated more info here, but I'm not wasting time looking it up. This piece of shit can rot and I don't need to spend any more time thinking about him.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Good for Bumble.