this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2024
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[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Left

  • Name: Sour Joe
  • Stats: DEX 5 - STR 3 - INT 10
  • Special Attack: Yeast Starter (Deals damage over time. If applied 5 times in 30 secs opponent takes explosive damage.)

Middle

  • Name: Gluten Gus
  • Stats: DEX 10 - STR 5 - INT 3
  • Special Attack: Bloat (This strike slows opponent down by 2% lasts for 10 secs, hits stack.)

Right

  • Name: LARRY DA LOAF
  • Stats: DEX 1 - STR 20 - INT 1
  • Special Attack: Pound Cake (Charge attack, at 50% does double damage and at 100% causes stun for 3 secs.)
[–] captain_aggravated 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Okay we need to make a bread-based fighting game now.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

You got it almost right, the game "west of loathing" does have a bread-based class if I remember correctly

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

No Pain No Grain

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Guy on the right, look at his sheer confidence!

He's already won and he knows it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Obvious choice here. Anyone with bread fighting experience knows size matters.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Clearly a spin-off of Bernt

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

Rock-hard (and indeed contains various rocks such as gravel), never goes stale, and is terribly sustaining. A traveller can go for miles, just knowing there's dwarf bread in their pack. A traveller can think of just about anything to eat rather than dwarf bread including their own foot and even pumpkins (see Witches Abroad).

Various forms of dwarf bread can be used as weapons, e.g. battle muffins and drop scones. Fine specimens of dwarf bread can be found in the Dwarf Bread Museum, Whirligig Alley, Ankh-Morpork, open to the public whenever volunteers have time (Feet of Clay).

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

None of those look remotely edible to me.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I bet their livers would be delicious with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ah, the old Lemmy cannibaloo.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Hold my bread I'm going... wait. There's no link. Damn.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Too much fat, or gluten. Depends if you got your liver from the front or the back row on that picture.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You aren't supposed to eat the loaves of bread, you're supposed to fight to the death with them 🥖

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Oh…. Chewing… ah… can… can I get another one? This one's…. gulp, a little worse for wear.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

🍞 Here you go

And now get ready for a pummeling >:3 🥖

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

🥖😰 tocuhé!

Dang it! I'll get you next time!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

gg wp ilu <3

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

The one on the left. He has a look in his eye that says "I've done morally questionable things at a CIA/MI6 black site".

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Far left appears to have that firm ass, welcome to San Francisco, crisp sourdough crust. Far right is some bread pan, Texas toast make’n, sponge crust.

As always, the left of where the fun is, and the right boring and conservative.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

The dude on the right is cheating and only showing the underside of the loaf, bet it's long, wide, and maybe an inch thick. Edit: Oxford comma

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Right one. It weighs more. One massive thump to the head and those other two are history.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Breads of Unusual Size

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Vampire assembly - The annual bake-off.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Drakula baking bread

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

I know the Marvel movies have been going downhill, maybe this is their plan to turn it around. The Breadvengers!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

My loaf is bigger than your loaf, We take more drugs than a touring funk band.

SING IT!

My loaf is bigger than your loaf.

SING IT!

My loaf is bigger than your loaf.

SING IT!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Not a flared base in sight

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Monsieur Baguette is clearly the superior choice.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Thought it said finger