this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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[–] [email protected] 52 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm outraged! That lumber supplier clearly plagiarized the title of my self-published autobiography!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Just one up them and everything will be solved!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

I'll fetch my chapstick.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Okay you need to calm down

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This is absurd. King Henry I didn’t paint his toenails.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I appreciate a good historical joke.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Me too but I lack knowledge in history. Care to explain it to me?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The legend is that a foot is actually based of the length of King Henry I's foot. "Imagine two neighbouring farmers, one buying a field from another, one with huge feet, one with tiny. Each measures the field in feet, but one says the footage is less because he’s got a bigger footprint, and therefore he argues a lower price. It’s a recipe for a mighty mediaeval punchup. So Henry proffered his own royal foot, it’s said. Thus, a foot became 12 inches."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You know what they say about foot size.

(You're welcome in advance, whoever I set this up for.)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It determines how easy it is for you to find fitting shoes

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

This is exactly what I was hoping for! Thanks!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Sure! I'll need to wear the right shoes to make sure each step equals a foot though.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

The one that's going to slowly escalate towards incredible pleasure is clearly superior.

spoilerThere's very little as satisfying as slipping into a newly tailored suit and looking amazing. Plus it's nice to be cared for by an attentive professional like a tailor perfecting your clothing. No kink-shaming here, but I'll pass on getting stepped on.

[–] festnt 6 points 6 months ago

honestly, the guy's ribs look like theyre gonna break

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Wtf, don’t make Americans look good!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] festnt 10 points 6 months ago

probably because you have a foot fetish

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Lil bro just posted foot porn

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

feet fetish revolution /j

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

America 1 - Europe 0

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

I AM NOT HEARING ANYONE OUT

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

And Brits weigh things in stone