"Xeepzorp, it's not that complicated. The thumb-up is like crossing your eyestalks, and the middle-finger is like extruding your rectal tentacle."
Ah yes the ass dick
Aliens with a literal dick-butt? The Internet would love them!
God I never understood that. And I was the perfect age for it.
The universe is a big place. Dick-butt aliens are pretty much a given.
Wait until they learn that the thumbs-up in some countries means what the middle finger does in the US...
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the Czech Republic, where apparently holding up a single index finger means 2.
Not a Czech but now that you mentioned it I want this here too!
I mean have you tried counting from either end using all your fingers i.e. thumb == 1? That dexterous shit is hard so making a single index finger two instantly makes it nice and smooth!
(Instant edit: this obviously only holds if index finger+ middle finger counts as 3, otherwise there really only seems to be an advantage in calling out 2 and my argument collapses)
How do you count 1 then?
It's not that complicated, aliens
The middle finger gesture was used in ancient times as a symbol of sexual intercourse, in a manner meant to degrade, intimidate and threaten the individual receiving the gesture. It also represented the phallus, with the fingers next to the middle finger representing testicles
It's a classic human cock-and-balls, simple as
Ah yes signs and symbols. Surely no alien ever has heard of those.
Humans vibrate the air in different and complicated ways. One vibration pattern humans like, another vibration pattern they don't like. sure this "speech" thing is really complicated. also symbols squibbled on surfaces. language, am I right?
Instead of just using brain-to-brain radio waves like any civilized species would. Pathetic.
This made me realize that if we encounter aliens there is a non-zero chance there will be alien weebs that become obsessed with our culture and think it is superior.
Seems like any aliens advanced enough to study us would very easily figure out that hand gestures are a form of communication.
The exam is explaining the difference between split index and middle finger palm forward and split index and middle finger back hand forward.
So I was going to make a joke about the peace and v signs by using the "peace be with you; and also with you" thing but have it say "Peace be with you. And also 'fuck you'". But then I was thinking, what if I said "up yours" instead because it's a more direct reference and less offensive. But then I realized it doesn't match anywhere near as well in syllables/sound.
So, long story short, my question is which one would be funnier/more appealing? Seriously, I genuinely want to hear opinions
Peace be with you. And also "thank you"
"Why are you giving yourself the bird?"
Fun fact: cats sometimes respond similarly to humans when presented with the middle finger. Without training. And often it with cats that do hate it, it's that finger specifically and only that specific gesture.
I still have absolutely no idea why, but some cats just naturally react as if it's an offense towards them. Maybe they equate it to a tail raised straight?
Shit's regional, too, yo. For "fuck you", the brits use a gesture that's more akin to "eat my cunt".
My dog pisses on other dog's piss as a show of dominance. We're all weird.
At least that makes sense and has a logical reason
Let's see how harmless it is when I jam it in your compound eye Mr. Kleezorp
"The gesture is an invitation for the adversary to put their middle finger in their own excreting orifice"
"Wow it must be painful for them!"
"They seem to have rather pleasant experience instead"
"Interesting..."
And some humans don't mind the middle finger at all and even react to it with bemusement!
But some humans think the ok gesture is as bad as or worse than the middle finger.
Ya know I don't actually think having widely recognised hand signals with different meanings is all that weird.
Body language is ubiquitous as communication in animal species, it's like saying "why one noise good but another noise bad"
Maybe it evolved to be harmless. Maybe it used to be the poison finger and now we instinctively try to poison each other.
If aliens exist (and they probably do,) they’d probably take one look at our incessant sat tv broadcasts and nope the fuck out.
Also, probably just stay away because they’d know we nuked ourselves. Multiple times. We’re psychopaths.
Or they're still watching single female lawyer and will visit when the feed cuts during the finale.
"You see, in france, the archers were getting their middle fingers cut off ... and that's why it's offensive."
"Is all that true?"
"Yes, the history is well documented. Billy from home room told Jessie in gym class..."
Well, the middle finger use to represent the ability to draw a bow. Unless I'm making shit up.
According to Wikipedia, it originated in ancient Greece and has always meant the same thing as it does now.
That's what I heard, but the fellah who told us both might have been making it up
That's middle and index fingers, with the palm facing backwards. Just a backwards peace sign.
In the UK two fingers up is a rude gesture and it comes from battles with the french. If they caught a British archer they removed those fingers so they couldn't fire a bow. So sticking them up at the enemy and gesturing was showing they had them and would use them to fire arrows at them. I am not an historian, though, and this could just be one of those tales that sounds so true everyone believes it and passes it on.
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