this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 129 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

https://lemmy.world/post/616615 there are great tips in that thread, I think you can find a way.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 4 months ago

The OG Lemmy meme.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago (3 children)

3 days is one thing, 8 days is impossible, (unless you don't eat anything.)

[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I have a newborn that hasn't had a shit for 5 days. According to our doctor, anything under 10 days is "normal".

So to answer the question...breastmilk?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago

Delicious, nutritious, shitless

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I did a 7 days water fast and as far as I remember I only pooped on the second day or something.

https://tube.jeena.net/w/hSpSWFhcCMwVUtBq1CdZJQ

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

And on the seventh day, God dropped a holy deuce and rested.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Honestly, over 8 days, I feel like even if you only drank some kind of liquid nutrients, your body would still filter out enough solids that you'd have something moving through your colon

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What nostalgia this brings lmao. The not pooping for 3 days meme is just as iconic as the influx of beans posts.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, my hope was that more people would get the reference when I posted this.

[–] flambonkscious 13 points 3 months ago

We're here, bud.

You done good work

[–] [email protected] 57 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Fun fact of the day: extreme constipation can result in build up that can reach all the way to your stomach. If the situation does not clear up soon after, patients might throw up poop. This is extremely dangerous and often results in suffocation by shit.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago

Best fun fact of the day that I have ever read.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You're trolling, right? RIGHT!?

PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE TROLLING!! PLEASE!!!!!

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 4 months ago (6 children)

Just shit, because you are human and shitting is a thing that humans do.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

this guy shits

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The real accurate captcha. No bots will ever simulate this.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 4 months ago (5 children)

Just use the lobby bathrooms at the hotel. If he loves you he’ll understand and be thankful.

Source: have done this myself

[–] jballs 41 points 4 months ago

Y'all ladies need to read Everybody Poops if you think you need to sneak off to lobby bathrooms.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago

No. If I have to hide my poop he doesn't really love me

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

That's the way.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 4 months ago

Opiates. Often and overly.

DO NOT MISS A DOSE!

[–] [email protected] 36 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Sugar free Haribo gummy bears, never mind that's the opposite.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

Well once you've finished you'll be so cleared out that you'll have a waste deficit.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What a bizarre way to live, pretending you don't shit

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago (6 children)

Might be, but it's also very much doable.

When I went to confirmation camp, it was on an island with no water toilets, only outhouses. Some of my peers just wouldn't use them for shitting, as they had never had to be without a "regular" toilet.

When there was a visiting day like a week after the start of the camp, I think someone had felt too nauseous and given in. I know this because I was assigned to empty the outhouse barrels. Which some mischievous visitors (older siblings who had gone through the camp themselves a year or couple before) had filled up to the brim with a hose, so all the shit was in liquid.

When we emptied them I saw a shit log the size of my forearm. All veiny and shit. Wouldn't be out of place in the South Park episode about massive poos.

So idk man, I think it's a joke but also, people do do that. ("Doo-doo", hehehe.)

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

When I'm traveling, my digestive system just shuts down. I went on a trip recently and I didn't shit for a week. That first shit looked as you described and nearly tore my asshole open. At least the toilet had a bidet.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

I think there's definitely something to that. I don't really have a problem shitting anywhere, but it's still crazy sometimes how much my need to excrete accelerates the closer to home I get. Like coming home from a store and you're not really even feeling the need, but then in the hallway, suddenly, you do, intensely.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

I couldn't make it past three days. The pain was excruciating. Do not recommend. And what I left in the toilet that final day....it wasn't natural.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Super glue your anus shut.

Disclaimer, do not do this, it's a horribly painful way to die.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago

The solution is to not give a shit.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago

Ah finally a topic that aligns with lemmys expertise.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago

Just "hold it in" on the second floor of the hotel. The conference floor.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

Girl just poop

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago (2 children)

She's not practicing her chess. She should eat a wheel of brie everyday

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

As an experienced butt plug enjoyer, the plug will shoot out if you have enough stuff trying to exit your body. And if you have even SOME poo that really needs to come out, it will be SUPREMELY uncomfortable.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Also takes up some of that real estate.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago

I wouldn't recommend fiber.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

Everybody poops 2: that hole you've been fucking is full of shit.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago

From experience: Army ration packs certainly help 👍

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

Maintain a state of intense terror the entire time.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Shit yourself in front of him, angry face style. Like a pain shit you're mad at. No embarrassment or tears. Own it. If he loves you after that, marry him

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

This is how you get stinky farts

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