pleasebedeadpleasebedead
this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2024
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politics
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He's just getting told what his vote will be.
Picking out colors for the granite in his next RV actually.
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If I didn't call or show up a few times to my job I'd be fired. Different rules.
Your first mistake was not getting a job with a lifetime appointment… bet you’re kicking yourself now, huh bub?
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Your job probably has a code of conduct, unlike SCOTUS.
So a Supreme Court justice can work remotely, but federal employees must be in an office.
Wait, did he take the deal that John Oliver proposed?
I think the clock ran out on that to be honest. He'd probably agree to it anyway so long as that pos vacates.
Don't mind me I'm just going to head out and pick up some party supplies just in case
Don't you jinx this.
He's waiting for the check to clear.
Maybe he's fucking dead
Edit: fuck.
Don't. Don't give me hope.
He's taken the next logical step from "Napping through Oral Arguments" and is now skipping the actual hearings entirely.
He'll show up for five minutes to tell his clerks how to write their opinions, then catch the next flight out to a Bohemian Grove. Unless someone smuggles a syphilitic child into the old people Adrenochrome orgy, dude is going to live for another 70 years.
I thought it said “Clarence Thomas missing eyebrows” and honestly that would make his face look as soulless as his soul is
LOL I came in to post similar.
Fingers crossed for the best outcome!
I hope his RV didn’t roll over him while he was trying to load up his 9 foot long blackstone
Excuse you.. it's a motor coach. They're completely different.
Oops sorry!
So the dude is literally phoning it in?
He's not even doing that any more.
The most annoying part of this is that even if he quits wasting our oxygen, it's "too close to the election" for the Senate to do their jobs and confirm the replacement.
Nah, democrats have a majority in the senate and republicans removed the ability to filibuster Supreme Court confirmations in order to seat Gorsuch. The 60 vote requirement was still in place in 2016 when democrats tried to fill scalia’s seat, and enough democrats were unwilling to change the rules to remove that requirement. Now that it’s gone there shouldn’t be any issue confirming a new justice.
Expecting Democrats to not tie their own hands here is... optimistic.
If Donald Trump gets to appoint like half of the supreme court during his overall tenure I'm gonna shit his pants
When reached for comment Chief Justice Roberts relayed the events that occurred that morning leading to Justice Thomas's unplanned absence. "I called him up and said, dude, you're on the schedule to work this morning. Where the hell are you? And he said 'bro, I'm like totally hung over. I was partying with these insurrectionists last night at a rooftop rave rolling my balls off. Babe, can you hand me that water bottle? No, that wasn't talking you Bob. Can you, like, call Ruth to cover?' And I'm like 'Hey asshole, I'm tired of covering your damn shifts. Ruth doesn't work here anymore, and you know that. Get your ass in here or I'm marking you as 'unexcused absence'. And he's like 'no can do, bro. I'm Audi 5000 today, see ya!' and then he totally hung up! I swear, I don't even think he wants this job anymore. I wish he'd fuckin' quit already."
Wow, I never knew such drama exists so high in our third brand government. Is this what the framers intended?
Frantically searching for News reports of tragic motorhome accidents.
Probably on some billionaires private island sipping margaritas. Nothing to worry about.
Time for “Weekend at Thomas’”
They could be AI phoning in his voice - not too different than his usual puppeteeing
Really hoping he calls in for oral arguments tomorrow and its really a morning radio prank show.
Maybe he took John Oliver up on that sweet RV
It's a motor coach
Hopefully he just doesn't ever come back
Justice Long Dong Silver was too busy in Mitch McConnell's sex dungeon and missed his private flight?
This is the best summary I could come up with:
"Context that may or may not be helpful: In the recent past, Justice Thomas phoned into oral arguments when he couldn't attend in person, allowing him to ask questions remotely.
His time on the Court has drawn plenty of ridicule, notably in recent years following an April 2023 report by ProPublica that found that he had accepted luxury trips almost annually for more than two decades as the beneficiary of Dallas businessman and Republican mega-donor Harlan Crow and never disclosed them.
Last October, the Democrat-led Senate Judiciary Committee moved to subpoena Crow and other donors, calling it part of a wide-ranging ethics crisis.
Crow told Newsweek via email at the time that any such subpoena would be "nothing more than a stunt aimed at undermining Justice Thomas, but his office would "remain committed to respectful cooperation and a fair resolution."
Thomas received more grief last month after participating in the Supreme Court's decision to put presumptive Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump back on primary ballots in multiple states after he was removed in accordance to Section 3 of the Constitution, which bars former officeholders who "engaged in insurrection" from holding office again.
The justice was encouraged by many to recuse himself based on the ruling and ties with his own wife, whose actions surrounding the last presidential election have been put in the spotlight.
The original article contains 515 words, the summary contains 224 words. Saved 57%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!
Anyone have his address? We should send him cards.
Thoughts and prayers too!!!
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