this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 68 points 7 months ago

You've invented a machine that desalinates seawater. It could make the deserts bloom, save millions of lives. But you can't get funding. So you go to the mad science funding board.

You attach a puppy shredder to the side of the thing to get in the door. But then they have some questions about the puppy shredder. So you start doing research.

The puppy shredder is more believable now, at your second presentation, but they have concerns about its efficency. You start increasing its power, adding more infrastructure. All the bones and fur have to go somewhere!

Third round of mad reviews. They say the puppy shredder doesn't have wide enough intake port! By God, you'll show them! You TRIPLE the size of the puppy scoop, add robot arms and a big vacuum cleaner to suck the little sons of bitches up! You need more power! It's time to switch to nuclear batteries! But where will you get the plutonium?! It's so damned expensive! The bank in the middle of Silver City just received a delivery of gold bars, direct from Fort Knox! But first there's those accursed poltroons in the Righteous Brigade to be dealt with! And then you'll show those pea brains at the mad science funding council! YOU'LL SHOW THEM ALL!!!

And somewhere in the middle of all this is a desalination miracle machine that could change the world. It just needs that damned funding...

[–] [email protected] 35 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Sounds like the Evil League of Evil.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago

Bad Horse has entered the chat.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Is this the NPH show that triggered in my mind? A memory I barely knew I had stored up there?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Yup! Also starring Felicia Day, Nathan Fillion and Simon Helberg as the unforgettably useless henchman Moist 😄

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Doctor Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog. a beautiful piece of media that came out of the 07-08 WGA strike.

[–] mindbleach 1 points 7 months ago

"You seem terribly familiar..."

Time for a rewatch!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] jballs 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Haha I love how the Rock plays that with such a straight face.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

I hate that you can see him obviously reading his lines offscreen rather than facing the other actors. But it's still one of my favorite skits

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Despicable Me did it:

(Okay so that was a bank funding supervillainy, but same difference.)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

Formerly Lehman Brothers

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Guild of Calamitous Intent.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

This is the Revenge Society not some Guild of Calamitous Intent!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

That there's an evil machine attached with no functional purpose related to the primary device is even more evil.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

What's really evil is: you must use the evil machine to allow use of the non-evil parts.

Oh, you want your cancer cured? No problem, please insert one puppy and step into the cancer-healing chamber!

[–] mindbleach 1 points 7 months ago

"Narrow-band radiation vaporizes the animal's potassium molecules into a specific ionizing frequency that passes through most tissue!"

"... shouldn't any source of potassium work for that?"

"Wouldn't know, haven't tested that. Tail-first please."

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

And what is so unethical about your machine?

It has a live feed of the chat from a game of LoL

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Surely the unethical funding is coming from the unethical traditional finance system, right?

You can't be less ethical than cutthroat shareholder capitalism status quo, I suspect.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 7 months ago

Sheesh buddy, it's a funny meme. Don't make it your personality.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

I don't know their area of research, but I'm already rooting for the puppy shredder machine!

[–] mindbleach 1 points 7 months ago

But there is a gag gift for anyone proposing the ATM from American Psycho.