All the workers have forearm tattoos
At least 3 people are wearing beanies in the middle of summer
Bacon is $4 extra
The burger comes out on a bun drenched in butter and is so greasy/oily that halfway through it may as well have been served in a bowl
It's also a dry pretzel bun
The biggest disappointment
Also:
Drinks are served in jars, and your fries, well, you get 8 fries in a rusty old can.
The place is being run by 3 bearded lumbersexuals in flannel and ball caps having the time of their lives and a chick in overalls and her hair in a bandanna who could not be more over it.
I hate those fucking stools. I swear they were invented to be so uncomfortable that once you've choked down that mediocre overpriced burger you want to leave as soon as possible because your ass hurts.
Getting people to leave quickly allows more people to enter, which means more burgers served.
always order everything to go and take it home and eat it in the comfort of my own bed.
restaurants are so uncomfortable.
They're shitty amazon order stools I bet.
Why is this so accurate
Half of the "artisan" burger chains in my city are marginally better than a fast-food chain. One, maybe two of them make burgers so good that they're worth the occasional splurge.
There’s a BBQ place near me, and I ordered tater tots there once, as a side. They were $4. They literally gave me 4 tater tots. They were one dollar apiece.
There are two types of BBQ places; stingy, overpriced, gourmet bullshit with barely any sauce and greasy, messy, heart stopping heaven. The former always pretends to be the latter.
There's also Mission BBQ which is stingy, overpriced, overly-sweet non-gourmet bullshit with jingoistic pro-military support-the-troops bullshit thrown in for good measure.
This meme is either very old or was made by someone in the midwestern US (always years behind on fads).
All of the bistro burger joints have gone the way of the dinosaur in my neck of the woods. Now it’s all smash burger fast food knock offs.
Nah, I got take out 3 burgers in SF area for 60 bucks in a place that looked like this and offered 6$ fries. Wtf
Taphouse/brewery has replaced the bistro burger joints that couldn't survive covid.
The places I see like this that are still around are moreso just generic American food :tm:. They sell more than just burgers, but the burgers are stupid expensive
They serve “local IPA” on draft for $11 or, ironically, a miller high life for a dollar.
I literally just opened a place like this lmao
Good luck, honestly.
$22.50 is a lot for a burger, but I've had some burgers that price that are life changing.
RIP??
Holy shit his is accurate, wtf lol
To be fair, Five Guys is every bit as expensive. But I'll take Five Guys over most of those places anyway. Free peanuts is tempting.
Five guys will let you fuck your burger up with 12 toppings tho. Better value proposition
Five guys will let you fuck your burger
This echos my last five guys in restaurant people watching experience.
Denim aprons denim aprons denim aprons
We have this exact hanging lamp at home from Amazon lol
How much for a burger
One bussy and penetrative cuddling.
And the word "Offerings" will appear on the menu
Pffftahahaha, I think I've been to this restaurant. I probably looked at the menu, eyes bugged out of head, ordered a cider or something and left.
This is incredibly accurate.
Holy shit even the pictures look like a local restaurant named: Allentown Burger Venture (ABV) lol
I've never seen a burger come without some side at a non fast-food restaurant in my city and I don't know why I find the concept so gross.
Yeah I've had a burger from a place that roughly fit this description, I was really sad when they closed because it was by an extreme margin the best burger I've ever had in my life.
Life is significantly worse without that burger.