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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ThrowRAWall2950 on 2024-01-24 10:39:10+00:00.
So I've(26m) been with my girlfriend (25f) for little more than a year. Things are going good. I have a childhood friend Zoe (26f). She used to live close by as a kid and her family situation was horrible. Abusive mom, absent dad, so often, she used to sleep over at our house, just me and my mom, so we're all very close.
Once back when we were 19, Zoe and I slept together once. It was all really awkward after that for a whole week then we both decided to talk it out and agreed that it was a horrible idea, we should just stay friends. That's all what happened between us during all these years. No romantic feelings, no jealousy, from either side.
My girlfriend met all my friends around 3 months into our relationship. She just thought they were all really outgoing and immature because apparently hiking and camping and partying are for teens. That was the only issue she's had and they all get along well. Before they met, I thought I should probably give her a heads up about Zoe, incase she'd uncomfortable with it. I know people aren't ok with their partner being friends with exes but I told her to let me know if this is gonna be a problem because I don't want her to be uncomfortable in her relationship but I also can't cut off my friend. She said it's ok. They met, she was kind of distant with Zoe but I get it. After that, we had no issues with this. Zoe and my girl weren't best friends but they got along well.
Now something about my friend is that she has suffered from eating disorder for so long. Back when we were 19, she was underweight, after that she started gaining a lot of weight. Her eating habits got really bad. She used to starve herself, used to be sick very frequently. She also had her studies to focus on so it was really bad. Couldn't afford therapy back then but she's seeing a therapist for the past year. She's also joined gym and the difference is really noticeable now. She came back yesterday from a morning jog and everyone was complimenting her about how she looks great now. I jokingly said "maybe you should go see Ryan now" (Ryan was an ex who left because she didn't fit his 'type') and we all laughed.
Then I got home and my gf started saying how it's so wrong that I'm still friends with Zoe and I need to stop. I was honestly surprised and had no idea where this was coming from. I asked her how is this weird. She says no guy in a relationship should be friends with an ex or a ons. I said I told you about her before we got serious and you were ok with it. She said she agreed back then because she thought over the time I'd come to realise it on my own that it's wrong. I told her no, I was very clear from the start on this topic. She then went off track and said now that she's lost weight she was trying to show off in front of the guys. That's so bs. She was wearing a top and leggings and the guys have seen her at her worst. She doesn't need to look good in front of them?? She then stared getting loud and saying why am I defending Zoe. I said I didn't, I'm just trying to remind her that she said she was ok with it and she's had no problem in the past year.
She claims now that she's fit, she'd want to come after me. This is all beginning to sound so cliche to me. As if Zoe only worked on herself for other guys?? She left after calling me a jerk. In the morning , Zoe sent me a screenshot where ny girlfriend had sent her a text saying " You need to start covering up more in front of my boyfriend". I apologized to Zoe and told her not to text back Me and my gf haven't talked after last night. What am I supposed to do here? I do love her but her thought process about this is so wrong. I get that being around your partner's ex is wrong but this was so long ago, she told me she was ok with it, she only has a problem now that she thinks Zoe looks good ?? Any advice? Thanks.
Tldr: Girlfriend now thinks i shouldn't be friends with a one night stand but she knew about her and said she was ok with the friendship.