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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Jazzlike-Coach34 on 2024-01-23 16:56:20+00:00.
I left my home town for college when I was 17, while my brother never left. I met my husband five years ago, and we've been married for two. I was offered my dream job in my hometown, so three weeks ago we moved there. My brother had been living alone for a long time and recently became unemployed so I offered to have him move in with us.
Things have been going great at my new job but I've been very busy. My husband and my brother are still both unemployed, though they say they've both had a couple interviews. I was nervous at first about how the two guys would get along, since they barely knew each other beforehand.
After my first day of work, they told me they had a lot of fun hanging out and they love each other. Then over the course of the next three weeks, I've seen a gradual decline in alone time with my husband, besides when we're making love or sleeping.
I told him yesterday I wanted to go out to dinner with him that night, and he said "Your brother probably knows a good place he can show us."
I asked him "Would you rather go out just the two of us?"
Then he said "It'll be more fun with him there."
So I asked my husband "Is he afraid you'll cheat on him if you ever end up alone with me?"
Then my husband said "That's what bedtime is for."
I ended up convincing him to go out alone with me. We went to dinner, went to the movies, then went home and made love. Then we cuddled for 20 minutes before my husband decided to get up, shower, and go hang out with my brother for a couple hours before coming back to bed at some point after I had gone to sleep.
I've been thinking about it all day what happened last night. I couldn't believe my husband didn't want to stay in bed with me. I'm feeling like I'm the third wheel and the two guys in the house like each other more than me. I don't just want more alone time with my husband. I want to believe that he wants it too. I don't want to sound insecure or jealous, but I need to address this issue. What do I tell him?
TL;DR! - My husband never wants alone time with me outside the bedroom anymore because he wants to hang out with my brother constantly.