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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Playful_Wonder5263 on 2024-01-23 23:46:09+00:00.
I don’t know if my friend is being an asshole or really cares??? I’m so confused
Ok so without any other context I’m going to speed run the most recent scenario. I (24M) asked my friend (25m) to go to a trivia night. Well his response was verbatim: “No, I don’t really wanna go. I told you I don’t wanna be seen until April cause I’m working on my overall body and health.” My friend has to stop drinking and smoking weed for a DUI so I can understand but at the same time I have not seen him since I helped move him into his apartment beginning of December last month. But he has gone out with another friend even though he stopped drinking.
I’m not upset he went out before with another friend but does improving yourself mean cutting people off by not physically seeing them? This has my brain going a million directions. Moving on in that same conversation I’ve had or am having family issues. And when I mentioned going to trivia he made his statement and suggested I ask my mom.
Now I have no problem with my mom it’s just that she works 9-5 and after a long day at the hospital I know she does not want to spend any time that’s not on her couch, watching tv, with a nice alcoholic drink to wine down to. So I said she is not the right choice and it went into a tangent about how I should make light of my situation which I don’t understand from the way he used it.
Our conversation:
Him: “I told you to make light of your situation and I don’t think you know how to. That’s not something me or anyone else can teach either.”
Me: “I definitely do not know how to do that 🤷🏽♂️ unless you meant make jokes about it”
Him: “No, it was meaningful. It’s sad how one can embrace sadness but not happiness when both are equal in emotion. I embrace sadness but I don’t complain about my sadness to others because that would be me spreading more sadness/anger into the world. We all go through stuff but everyone doesn’t complain about it. It’s just the cards they were dealt. I feel like you hate the cards you were dealt instead of just reshuffling them and making a play out of them.”
Me: “I apologize I didn’t know I was complaining. Personally thought I was sharing but I can see how that seems like I’m spreading sadness. I will refrain from my family as a topic I promise 🙏🏽”
Him: What happens if you share the same thing over and over repeatedly? I really am asking what that’s called. Then Proceeds to send two city girls lyrics and laughs at my “I will refrain from family sentence”
I don’t know what to say or do I feel crazy cause at any point he can call me and rant but I keep bringing up my family problems and I’m spreading sadness. It’s a lot more but this is a speed run for the main points.
Am I crazy or is my “friend” right?
TL;DR: My friend thinks me talking about my family problems is me spreading sadness but also he is being distance since I helped him move into his apartment. Am I losing a friend or is this a rough patch?