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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Stargazer_quartz on 2024-01-23 22:38:36+00:00.
I’m not sure what the best subreddit to put this question in would be, so if this isn’t the right one, please point me in the right direction.
Summary: Friend who ghosted me sent me a facebook friend request, I would like advice on my options
I (NB, 25) and my ex-bestfriend V (NB, 25) were best friends from ages about 13 or 14 to 17. We were very close — Whenever my mum would go on business trips for example, V would stay over for those few days so I wouldn’t get lonely. I also had them over a lot because their home life was terrible. After highschool, my family moved, and I kept in touch with most of my friends. But pretty much as SOON as I moved, V stopped responding to my messages. At first I had assumed they were just busy with work and life, but after about a week with NO response, I started asking around our friend group to see what was up, and I was worried they were in the hospital or something and no one had thought to tell me. But, nope, they were perfectly fine, and responding to other people, they just decided to never speak to me again. This was incredibly painful, obviously, but doubly so because of how several years before my childhood best friends suddenly stopped speaking to me with no explanation, which V knew about.
V just sent me a friend request on facebook. It’s been over 7 years since we last spoke. I plan on messaging them, to open up a dialogue and see what happened, but I am unsure about what to say.
To me, it seems like my options are:
- The passive route. Just say “Hello” or “hey, how are you doing?” I’d rather not do this one.
- The passive aggressive route. Say “Hi?”
- The open book route. Type out a message asking why they friend requested me, and make it clear that they had hurt me.
- The meme route. I REALLY want to do this one, but I feel like it probably has some drawbacks I’m not seeing. My first draft is that meme of a confused Nick Young but with the caption “TFW your highschool best friend sends you a facebook friend request after ghosting you 7 years ago” or something, or I may do a ghost busters meme (because ghosting). This is the one the friends I’ve asked so far have supported.
- Ignore them (I don’t want to do this one)
TL:DR One of my close high school best friends ghosted me right after high school and has recently reached out. The ghosting REALLY hurt me, and I want to open up a dialogue, but I am unsure what to say. What should I say? Are there options I haven’t thought of?