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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Cranberryj3lly on 2024-01-23 22:11:38+00:00.
I recently discovered over the holidays that it’s my partner who, through lots of micro actions, has made it difficult for me to experience life fully. I’ve struggled with this for so long that I just thought it was part of one of my chronic illnesses, but turns out it goes away if I’m away from him for an extended period of time.
I am serious about him being my life partner and don’t know how to have a conversation about this without him completely shutting down (something he does often) or acting like I’m trying to tell him that I want to break up.
Any help would be really great. I struggle with bringing concerns to him because no matter how delicately I try to put it, he always comes back to me with “I can’t do anything right” or “I need you to phrase things to me without using you statements.” But it gets complicated trying to explain how one of his behaviors is impacting me if I can’t use the word “you.”
TLDR: My partner triggers serious mental health issues for me and I want to address it but don’t know how to do it in a way where he’ll actually hear what I’m saying instead of jumping to conclusions.