This is an automated archive.
The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/lazyshumai on 2024-01-23 21:48:54+00:00.
First off, apologies if transactional is not the right word in this scenario!
I (24F) & my bf (25M) have been together for a little over 3 years. We have definitely been through our up’s and downs, but I have noticed that recently in the last year or so we have become competitive(?) in a way regarding our relationship.
By competitive I mean like, keeping track of who did the dishes last, who paid for dinner last and who does more chores and therefore gets a break from xyz, things like that.
I honestly didn’t think it was affecting our relationship until we got into a huge argument about unloading the dishwasher and it made me realize that our keeping score has turned us into petty, kid-like “no you do it!”, “but I did this!”.
I want to eradicate this tally keeping and go back to being collaborative and having one of us pick up the slack when needed and vice versa. I can’t even really pin point why we have become like this, when in the past we were so good at helping each other out.
TLDR: Boyfriend & I used to be a great team, now we score keep every little thing and I want it to change.