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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Fickle_Statement_907 on 2024-01-23 17:27:58+00:00.
I (M23) have been together with my girlfriend (F22) for about 4 years.
Recently we went out on a date. While we were waiting for the food I told her about the last night when I went out with the boys. Everything seemed good, the vibe was good, but then I told her that I didn't use her favourite parfume as the sweather I wore still had the scent from the last parfume (Stronger with you) as I also wore it when I went out a few days before. She then told me "haha I knew it that you didn't wash yourself". I was shocked, she said it was just a joke.
The vibe became not so good as we both sat in silence. I asked her how was her day, she murmured something, then we went back to akward silence. It seemed like she was ready to cry (and even shed some tears) and asked why I was mad. I said I was not mad, I was just a bit sad as I just did not expect such a comment. She said that I will blame her for ruining the night, I assured her I would say nothing like that. After that I could see on her phone that she was looking for an Uber and sent me the money for the date. (I intented to pay all of it and she knew)
I told the waiter that we will take the food home and after we went outside she asked what do I want her to do. I asked what does she want to do as I did not say anything like she ruined the night or raised my voice or anything and that it was her idea to look for an Uber and go home. Eventually we went at my home and got over it but the truth is I was very full of negative emotions after that failed dinner, I just did not let any of my emotions go out as I felt it would just prolong that shitty situation, but after that she told me that I was not communicative enough.
Is this normal? If yes, how should I have reacted to the whole situation? It feels like she will get mad because I get mad if I would be mad at her.
tl;dr - we go out on a date, she jokes how I don't wash, I feel bad but don't really express myself after, is this how relationship work?