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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/throwaway358111 on 2024-01-23 07:52:25+00:00.
Me and my girlfriend's relationship has been short but very rocky in general. She knows I don't trust her because I've pointed out her lying before and told her I didn't. Now she has been feeling really guilty lately and talked with me and told me that in the past she had compared me to one of her exes putting them in a positive light. I was upset at her and asked if there's anything else like that I should know about because in the past she's gotten mad at me for commenting on a past relationship when she is the one who brought it up, and this has happened multiple times. she said "Why would you ask me that?" in an offended voice then i said i asked her because she hid this from me so why wouldnt she have other stuff to say (when she compared me to him she went silent and i was asking what was wrong and she wasnt saying anything about it, this was a couple weeks ago)
after some silence she brought up that she told her last boyfriend (different person) that she only wanted to take a break from their relationship, and that was about 2 weeks before i started talking to her. a couple weeks ago we had an argument where i said something along the lines of "well why wouldnt you want to just go back to him now, whats different this time" and she didnt tell me that she told him she wanted to just take a break and get back together in the future, she just said that she really doesnt want to be with him and would never go back but didnt give a reason why its different this time (they had broken up and gotten back together 4 times). i pointed out that she tried sounding offended about me asking if there was anything else and she said she was saying it as a "wow you read my mind" type of way, but later she had the same offended tone and didnt try defending it when i pointed it out
we argued about that and then maybe 5-10 minutes of silence passed by again and she told me that she cried when she threw away pictures of her last ex. she also said she was initially going to ask me then ask her mom if she should throw them away. i was angry because there shouldnt be any reason to cry over it and it shouldve been something that she had done by herself when we agreed to be in a serious relationship and especially when we asked each other to delete all old pictures of eachothers exes and she scrolled through my pictures to find like 2 from months ago, but she waited a month to do it and changed her story from the pictures being in an old baggy she found and didnt know she had to her at first thinking about keeping the pictures for a photo album in the future or for if she "needed them" in the future. about 2 weeks ago i also found out that she still had 50+ photos on her phone of him that she hadnt deleted yet. some explicit pictures were also deleted less than a month before that. i dropped her off at home after she said she thought of keeping the pictures for a photo album and i havent texted her since
she also has basically never trusted me about going back to my past relationships despite me never doing anything to show i wanted to go back to them and me showing her all the messages she asked for and deleting/blocking their numbers. i also never went back to someone like she did 4 times. when i first told her i didnt trust her i also brought it up that it felt like projecting that she always thought i wanted to go back to my past relationships, or look at/be with other women, and this is before i knew she went back to her ex 4 times before that she was talking to just weeks before me that she told she wanted to be with in the future. when i said it felt like projection she just dismissed it and said not everything is projection, but thats the only time i had ever said something she did or said felt like it
now shes been texting me sorry and that she loves me saying she wants to fix things. i like her but is it just time to break up? can this relationship be saved at all?
TLDR: my gf claims to not have any emotional attachment to her ex despite contemplating keeping physical pictures of them and crying when she threw them away. she never told me about this for 2 months and she kept other things hidden from me too. should i break up with her now?