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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/senorderpenstein on 2024-01-23 15:35:43+00:00.
Alright, so my wife's (31 female) sisters new boyfriend just sent out a message to her whole family that he is planning a surprise party for her and wants everyone to attend. He already has a date set and told everyone to clear their schedules. However, the date is the night of a concert. I've (39 year old male) already bought tickets for my wife and I to see my favorite band (who she also loves), and my close friend is likely going to be attending with us traveling from across the country and we will be meeting his significant other for the first time (kind of a big deal as he's never had one that he's shared, and is an almost 40 year old male now, he's one of the only close friends from HS and college that I still regularly keep in contact with)
She's telling me that it shouldn't be a big deal for her to go to her sister's party and I can find someone else for the ticket, making me feel completely pushed aside. She's confused that I feel that way. Just looking for feedback from people who are outside of the situation so I can get an idea if my feelings are valid or if I should just back off.
TL:DR, under what circumstances is it okay to cancel plans already made with your significant other?