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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/SignalGarden1698 on 2024-01-23 11:13:58+00:00.
I'm approaching the end of my university experience where at the start I met my lovely girlfriend. Truly the kindest and sweetest person I've ever met. We're approaching our two year anniversary but I feel awful right now. Something just doesn't feel right. At university we see each other quite often. You would even say we nearly live together. We rarely have problems. Can communicate our feelings quite well.
Anyway this has happened before after our summer holidays where we were away in consecutive periods and didn't see each other. I felt myself not missed her. Not wanting to text her. Having a nice breath of fresh air. Kind of counting down the days to see her but not in the way you think. I know this isn't a good feeling and I told her how I felt. It definitely hurt both of us. her having to hear that I didn't miss her and me seeing that how I felt could have such an impact (of course). The issues I identified and communicated were that; I didn't have my own space a lot and that our sex life was kind of meh. I'm not innocent either; I had things to work on too such as being present in the moment, not going on my phone as much. I think I worked on mine. I would ask and everything would be good.
Now with that being said. Once we were back at university, everything was much better. Those problems went away and we were good again.
However, those issues weren't really worked on. Don't get it twisted she actually pointed it out but i guess in the busy life of university you kind of get side-tracked as I have extra things as well as her and those issues didn't seem as serious.
Fastforward now to the winter break and the same thing has happened. But this time it feels different. I can't help this feeling but I've just seen her after a month basically and i feel horrible. I feel like i lied to her when i saw her. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed my time with her but something feels off and i can't pin point what exactly it is.
I don't know if it's because when I am at home i enjoy my own space and maybe have time to reflect after such an intense university semester. Let me also mention that those issues i mentioned before don't come to my mind right now. I've just been crying my eyes out because it feels over. but I don't want it to be. I wanna talk to her about it and work through it. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE ISSUES ARE!!!
Sometimes when i think of my future I don't see her in it and it makes me so sad. I think part of it is because she doesn't know what she wants to do. She doesn't really have any ambitions. i've tried to push her but she just gets scared of starting. I see so much potential in her, and she knows this too, but she doesn't have the motivation or discipline to start things. On the other hand, I do have hobbies that i would love to see become a viable career path that i work on a daily basis, which plays into the fact that I need space to work on those.
I'm sorry if this has been repetitive, I just love this girl so much and the thought of giving up on her genuinely has been making me sob for the last few days. I'm her first relationship and we've been pretty solid. She's my second and after getting cheated on my first I didn't think I'd be able to trust someone as much as I trust this angel. At least if anything were to happen she can have a high benchmark for the next man in her life and likewise I will too.
I want to add on I have also been very stressed as it is exam season but I usually don't get this affected. next time i see her will be after the exam period so maybe I'll talk to her then.
Sometimes when i think of my future I don't see her in it and it makes me so sad. I think part of it is because she doesn't know what she wants to do. She doesn't really have any ambitions. i've tried to push her but she just gets scared of starting. I see so much potential in her, and she knows this too, but she doesn't have the motivation or discipline to start things.
I'm sorry if this has been repetitive, I just love this girl so much and the thought of giving up on her genuinely has been making me sob for the last few days. I'm her first relationship and we've been pretty solid. She's my second and after getting cheated on my first I didn't think I'd be able to trust someone as much as I trust this angel. At least if anything were to happen she can have a high benchmark for the next man in her life and likewise I will too.
I want to add on I have also been very stressed as it is exam season but I usually don't get this affected. next time i see her will be after the exam period so maybe I'll talk to her then.
This is just a vent but if anyone has been through a similar experience and knows how to navigate through this I would love the help, at the moment it feels like it's going to end but it really isn' set in stone
TLDR: My (M21) relationship has reached a standstill and I don’t know what the issues are, I love her (F22) still.