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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Not-quite-my-tempo- on 2024-01-23 08:48:08+00:00.
My 26f boyfriend 27m and I have been dating for three years. We love each other deeply and had plans to marry and have kids. We even lived together but broke up and I moved out. We’ve actually broken up a few times due to different things but we got ourselves put together and grew up and got back together.
Here’s the thing….I have BPD and severe abandonment issues and fears so sometimes I overreact and am overally sensitive. My boyfriend emotionally cheated two years ago. It destroyed me. He also left me for her at one point but all they did was go on a few dates and kiss once and then he came back to me. He’s honestly been amazing for about a year and a half. Honest, trustworthy, always there for me and supportive. He goes to therapy and cut out all the toxic people in his life. I never believed anyone could really change but he proved me wrong.
The thing is, I never got over my resentment and heartache. I cry multiple times a week over it still. I stopped trying in our relationship because anytime I want to try I think of what he did and grow bitter. The thing is, I’ve done equally bad things as him and he forgave me and we grew together.
We grew together for a little bit but now I’m just….idk I’m just so tired. I don’t know if I’m making a mistake. He’s such an amazing guy and I’m just this pathetic woman who can’t heal or choose love. What should I do?
tl;dr I’m not sure whether I should break up with my amazing boyfriend or not.