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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Direct-Glass9954 on 2024-01-23 02:05:55+00:00.
My (M28) significant other (F28) and I have been together since around July and casually dating since May. Initially, we didn't take it too seriously because she has a son (M4), and I wasn't sure about the long-term prospects of that working since I don't have kids. Since we got serious, she's been pressing me to marry her. She regularly talks about this and has (softly) indicated she'd leave me if I didn't propose in a year. I don't like having timelines on things, so I have pushed back, and she's gotten better, but she's nonetheless made clear that expectations is still there. Sometimes, when she's doing the marriage routine, I have said it's fine or if it feels right, we can do that, but she's worn me down on this subject and it's started annoying me. I just wanted a normal relationship, that progresses at an organic pace, but she has this huge fear of turning 30 unmarried and no one wanting her. We do live in a major city in the south, and while I thing this is ludcruiois, I have met multiple girls with similar sentiments (since moving here).
Another complication was that she introduced me to her son (4 years old) in early November and he really likes me. He talks about me a lot (according to her) and whenever I see him always wants to play. She has her son the vast majority of the time (over 75%), and as someone without kids this is hard on me. Her son can be very aggressive and angry, temper tantrums and throwing things are not uncommon (nightly occurance), and he was only recently bed-trained and it's a huge work in progress.
I am starting to feel exhausted by the relationship. The constant pressure, being told I need to be a father figure to her son, her son’s constant behavioral issues and everything else is making me exhausted. I work an extremely demanding job and coming over to her place after work is honestly stressful (this evening, I got punched in the face by the 4 year old while trying to build a toy for him, in between work calls).
I am not sure how to proceed. I would normally have broken things off, but I do care about her and honestly the fact that I have met her son raises the stakes here. Is there a way to salvage this relationship?
Tldr; my significant other is exhausting me, how do I communicate these things to her without causing it to blow up.