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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/maryray999 on 2024-01-22 21:27:18+00:00.
So I already have a fearful/ avoidant attachment style so it’s hard to know if my intuition is right or if it’s my attachment style coming into play.
I’m dating someone who treats me really well, loves me, communicates well, is physically attractive, makes me a priority, etc.
However, I can’t help but feel something is missing. As an introvert and someone with anxiety, I always gravitate towards people who make me laugh and have goofy personalities. I’m also a naturally goofy/weird person so anyone that can make me feel comfortable enough to act as my authentic self, is someone I really cherish. I feel like I don’t really have that with my significant other. Sure, sometimes we laugh and yes, we have good times but it’s not the same as what I’m talking about. I feel like I have to mask a bit / can’t fully be myself and not because he doesn’t let me but he just has a different personality / different humor than me. But I long for that type of connection, where we are so in sync, laugh about everything, and get be our complete selves together. I had this with my ex (but I wasn’t really physically attracted to him)
I also find it sometimes hard to have conversations with my bf as he’s not much of a conversationalist. I wish he would have more curiosity into my life and that we had more deep conversations. He also has adhd so he’s not the best with listening bc he’s often getting distracted. This is something else I reallly value and feel is lacking.
TL;dr so I guess I’m just writing because I’m torn. I have a great guy but still feel somethings lacking. I’m also getting older so I feel my time is running out and I need to figure it out soon. But I can never trust my intuition because idk if I’m self sabotaging. I know no one is perfect and I fear I’m asking/ looking for too much or fantasizing about an ideal person that doesn’t exist. It really sucks when you can’t trust your own intuition.