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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Distinct_Wafer_820 on 2024-01-22 20:57:01+00:00.
My fiance (34m) and I (35f) are getting married in June this year. We have been together a little over three years. He has 15 vacation days to use for the year with one week needing to be used during Christmas because his office closes and he won’t be paid if he doesn’t save one week for that. He chose to have a long vacation style bachelor party that will use up about three days as well as used two days for some dental work stuff.
I had no issues with any of this until yesterday when his parents texted him that they want him to take a week vacation with them and his sister during April and that he should get his passport renewed.
Now I will say my son (13m) and I were also invited but they know that 1. I work for the school system and 2. I would never take my son out of school for an entire week for a vacation. Being that I work for the school system, spring break is in march and I had told them at Christmas that if they wanted to plan something longer than a weekend that that would be the best time for us. They are both retired and my fiancé’s sister has a very versatile remote job so I honestly feel they didn’t mean to purposely exclude us but that they just didn’t consider it.
Now, because my fiance feels obligated to fulfill his family’s wish after our wedding there will be no vacation time left to do anything after it. I had been hoping we could have gone on a short 3-4 day cruise but now my hopes are shattered. So now I have to pretend like I am happy for him to get to spend time with his friends and family while I will basically have a year with zero vacation time with him and it hurts. I know it is not his fault or anyone’s really and I know there is nothing that can solve it.
Any advise on how to handle the emotional turmoil would be greatly appreciated. I would love to get to a point where I can just accept it and be genuinely happy for him. I also have been diagnosed with codependency and PTSD if that helps with the advice giving. Thanks all!
TLDR My fiance is using all his vacation time for the year with other people and I would love some advise on how to gracefully accept it and be happy for him.