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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/free_username91 on 2024-01-22 15:52:22+00:00.
My husband and I have a lot of issues ranging from financial to chores distribution to sexual and emotional, communication as well as trust and fidelity. I am definitely thinking about divorce, but since we are having two younger children together, I do agree that we should give us one more chance.
He is generally financially dependent on me for the last few years (his income was lower and he would keep it for his personal things), but has been working abroad for the past few months and has his own income there. He will be back in about a month and proposes we go for a holiday together, leaving the kids with his family.
I am not feeling super comfortable with this due to all the problems we have in our relationship. Though it has been one of the things I had requested from him to put a little more effort into actively spending time together.
We had a situation where I was about to leave (due to him emotionally cheating) before and he did everything that I had been bringing up for years pretty much until I agreed to give us another chance and then things pretty much went back to business as usual. I am worried something similar will happen where we have an amazing week or two, I totally fall in love again and then when we are back to our regular day to day life, we still cannot get along, further dragging out a pretty bad situation and causing so much more heartbreak.
I feel like we should approach it from an angle of improving our daily live, going to marriage counseling, doing regular date night and generally getting along under normal stressors first, but he really wants that vacation. If I don't agree to come, he still wants to go for a holiday with friends instead. Also, maybe he's right and we need to rekindle those lovey-dovey feelings first?
What do you think, wise redditors? Is it a good idea to go on a vacation together despite (or because of?) all the problems we have? I don't doubt that we will get along during vacation, because he knows how to "woo" me and I have a feeling that's what he's trying to do here. He is strictly against a separation.
TLDR: HB and me are having various issues and he wants to go on a romantic vacation. Is it a good idea or should we try to fix our daily lives first?
Reddit keeps telling me to add more details, but I'm really not sure what else to say. If you have specific questions feel free to ask in the comments and I'll answer as much as I can.