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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/sprylocket10 on 2024-01-22 13:20:19+00:00.
So, we’ve been dating for 11 months and I moved in with him a few months ago. I’m a medical student and I met him through an internship position I have, he’s a newly appointed attending physician. This has caused drama between my peers and myself as well as his peers because they disprove of our relationship. I’ve been in an argument with one of my classmates because they feel like I got favorites because of my relationship. A few weeks ago, he sets up a dinner with his boss and his wife - it was supposed to be a “double date”. I was in the bath tub at the time that he made these plans and didn’t hear my phone, so when he got home he was upset with me for not replying and called me lazy for taking so long to get ready - he canceled the date.
When we started, we had sex pretty quickly which is not typical of me - I warned him that I’m not typically like this and he respected that. Several weeks go by and I start oral birth control and then we start spending more nights together and I decided to get an implant. I had heavier menses with the implant so he asked an OBGYN and recommended another one to me. I said I wasn’t sure about it and the one I have now might just take more time to adjust to. He kept on until I replaced the implant. Since I changed to this implant, my menses have been better but now I get periods of nausea and cramps. The other week he wanted me to get an ultrasound to “see if I could be pregnant” which he later said he wanted me to do this to see if there was any anatomical anomaly causing my symptoms.
Well, another major side effect of this implant is my sex drive. Since I’ve had this implant, I don’t feel as affectionate toward him. I used to jump into his arms when I saw him for the first time in a day, we would cuddle every night, and I would send him cute haikus while he was at work. I’ve stopped all of this. I’ve turned him down for sex multiple times, and I have told him I feel uncomfortable with cuddled if he wants to be more intimate. All of these issues have caused a few arguments.
So, last night, we make dinner and have a great time. We go to the couch and watch our show and I put my head on his shoulder and he grabs my leg and rubs my thigh - we’re having a good time. Eventually, he asks me if I want to move to the bedroom and then starts to kiss me and I say no. He asks me why and gets sort of startled by this and I explain that I don’t have a sex drive and just want to cuddle. He tells me that he wants us to connect more and goes on about this until I say alright I’ll try. We kiss for a while and he takes my top off and then I realize he is not erect and I’m sort of offended by it. I made a joke about it because he’s had this issue in the past with me and we solve it lol. Well, he gets offended by my joke and then starts to blame me.
He grabs my arm and tells me to get off and he’s sick of me being so lazy and boring. He told me while I was half naked that I never go out anymore, don’t care about him, and all I do is sit at home and read or play games - I’m a boring person that he doesn’t want to be around. He put his finger in my face and said this is what people mean when they call me autistic. He apologized for some of this but immediately left the house and said not to call him because he will still be mad for a while. Some of what he said is true, I haven’t been going out as much.
Last night he embarrassed me so much that I feel traumatized. I don’t know what to do. He texted me that he loves me when he woke up. What should I do?
I am 25, female.
TL;DR: Relationship issues with boyfriend, including peer disapproval, canceled plans, birth control changes affecting sex drive, and a heated argument. Boyfriend made hurtful comments, left, then apologized the next day. Feeling traumatized, unsure about what to do.