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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/valkyriansofearth on 2024-01-22 10:50:31+00:00.
Due to some issues regarding my mental health and studies, I (21F) went to spend some months at my aunts house in which she lives with my younger cousin’s (16F). My younger cousin, whom I’ve always cherished dearly and felt protective towards her and basically saw as a little sister, has been dating her boyfriend (18M) since last year and they’ve developed a really intensely close and intimate relationship, he is who isn’t working or in college, is at her house almost everyday, sleeps and eats there very often. Expect the fact I’m not really comfortable with the fact my cousin who isn’t of legal age dating an adult, I have to admit he’s been a really good boyfriend to her and also is really nice and a gentleman with me and my aunt. However, for reasons I ignore my cousin has been very avoidant towards me since I’ve been there, which means our relationship which used to be close has totally changed and we’ve barely exchanged any words except at dinner time. As I said we haven’t been spending any time together also because of the fact she’s always with her boyfriend when she’s at home. Now what I found a bit weird is, her boyfriend has many times caressed my thigh under the table and my arm when all of us were eating/ having dinner. I have no idea if that was just sympathetic (cuz like I said he’s been very nice and devoted and always voluntary to do tasks so I don’t do it) or meant to be flirtatious, so like a dumbass I just smiled at him in return the times he did it. I’ve been appreciative of his efforts to interact with me when we are have dinner unlike my cousin, but I’ve been a bit bothered by these gestures because firstly he always did it when my cousin and aunt weren’t noticing and secondly we haven’t even developed any kind of friendship for him to be touchy towards me. Also I’m just not comfortable with men who aren’t my family being "affective" like that with me. I might be imagining things but some evenings when all 4 of us were watching TV, I’ve noticed him staring in my way more than once. I’ve talked about this with my mom and she said he might just have been infantilizing me due to my mental health problems (depression) and my current life situation, which is kinda true and I’ve felt bothered by it due to me being older than him. Am I overthinking/ being paranoid ? Or should I talk about this with him and express I’m not comfortable with him touching me even if to be sympathetic? I personally prefer to stay quiet until I leave and not cause any drama between him, me and my cousin and appear hostile and mean to them.
TLDR ; Been staying at my cousin’s house, whose boyfriend has been overly friendly with me for my liking considering we have not interacted much since I’ve been at my cousin’s