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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/JudetheMan on 2024-01-22 07:24:54+00:00.
TL; DR This might sound like a rant but i need advice. We have been together for 3 years and almost 5 months.
We fight on and off and this particular made me angry and I don't know should I be. I am asking my self am I the problem all along.
2 years into the relationship, we were living together during out studies. And my parents did not like it, my mom rushed in on us and scolded me for take advantage of my gf. Which she (my gf) misunderstood (because she does no speak my native tongue) , of my mom scolding her family and her for raising her like this. I tried explaining to her that my parents didn't mean it and was scolding me instead , but she insisted, as she had a male friend in the other room who was visiting us, who eavesdropped on me and my mom fighting, and told her my mom was saying her parents are bad people for raising her like that. And whenever she sees my parents calling or text me.. she would be furious, and say things like "why are you still talking to them" , "they hurt me, why are you nice to them ?". But I couldn't not talk to my family right? Now I feel like my parents are disappointed in me, because I rarely pick up calls in fear of having a fight with my gf and i feel my relationship with them might have been affected.
After my graduation, I've been working. And usually my work place usually takes me 30 to 40 mins to get there and 40 to 60 mins back to her place, and I've been driving almost every single day to see her and I also stay there eventhough I have a place to stay myself. During the weekends I buy food for us, usually delivery, I run out to takeaway food, or we spend the day in malls. All of these delivery and takeaway is usually expensive and I rather eat food that are cheaper and available at stores just below her place. But she claims to be allergic to foods that are cheaper as "you get the quality for what you pay" and she would have diarrhea and vomit after eating. So i comply, fair enough.
We had this fight recently, I told her I show my love by driving every single day to see her and buying food for her when I'm with her. And she told me that I am doing the bare minimum, and said "if you not doing these [ie driving and buying food] things, we are just friends" .. It kinda hurts.
It's does not help that we are going to live separately after a few weeks, as she's going back to her hometown forever after finishing her education. I would wish to travel there and stay with her. But the Career opportunities there are far too limited for my field, as I asked people that are from there and now resides where I am now.
It feels as though that we are going to go seperate ways soon. But it hurts when memories of our happy times flash through my eyes. We both want it to last forever but it seems like an impossible ordeal.