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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/catch96 on 2024-01-22 05:58:02+00:00.
We’ve been together 2 years now, my longest relationship. And my only relationship since I’ve started adulting a little over a year ago.
For many many months, I haven’t felt my emotional needs being met. I’ve felt like the facilitator of our relationship for so long. My sex drive continued to drop. I’ve felt disconnected once before for about a month or less. We talked it out, and everything was okay for a little bit. But then my needs just kept not being met and I continued to have to facilitate our relationship for me to get what i needed emotionally. I’ve felt disconnected from him since about October-December.
I had a conversation with him about it end of December before our anniversary on Jan 1st. But before that conversation on how I’ve been feeling, he had noticed I was disconnected for a little and he started trying to make efforts in December. After our conversation, he’s continued to make efforts in meeting my needs and I’ve made a better effort in being open to his efforts as I’ve been so tired of having to tell him how I feel and what I need throughout our relationship before that I’ve been closed off prior to our conversation.
It’s only been a few weeks so maybe it’s too soon to say, but it’s been since October that I’ve felt like this. And yes, he’s making efforts now and I’m trying to be open to it but I still don’t want to have sex and I’m still wondering if I love him. I feel like I do cuz it scares me to not have him in my life. I do like the life we share together. We don’t live together but we spend days at eachother’s places. We spend time with eachothers family, etc etc. This is my longest relationship, so it’s very solidified and incorporated into my life. It scares me to let him go.
They say there are lulls in relationships, and I’m wondering if this is just that and if other people go through these things too and eventually come out on the other side?
TL;DR Been with bf for 2 years, I think I still love him cuz it scares me to not be with him but I’ve felt disconnected for months, and it’s only been a few weeks we’ve tried to make change since I’ve had a conversation with him a few weeks ago. Is this common in long term relationships where sometimes we get disconnected and don’t know what we’re feeling?