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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Unique-Pineapple2749 on 2024-01-22 05:44:45+00:00.
A little back story. We have been dating for about 6 months. We were both previously in long term relationships. Both of us took a break from dating for 6-12 months before dating again. We have a lot in common when it comes to values, what we want out of life, etc. and for the most part we get along very well.
He is a great guy, I care about him, he cares about me. He certainly tries to show me that, and he indicates he looks to the future for us. For some reason, I find myself feeling an underlying sense of discontent with him. I try to be self aware and I realize there is no OBVIOUS reason for this. There is only one thing that comes to mind.
My previous relationship was with someone who I would describe as my best friend. The connection between us was undeniably strong and we loved each other more than words could describe. We could finish each others sentences, and we made each other feel loved without even trying. Kinda hard to describe. Unfortunately, some unhealthy things happened which ended in us parting ways. That’s that.
I consider myself over that part of my life, however there’s part of me that wonders if the discontent I feel is because I don’t feel the connection that I felt with my previous partner. I don’t expect it to be the same, I don’t expect anything to be the same, and I don’t want it to be. However, in a way, I feel my current partner does not make me feel loved and cared about in a way that I recognize emotionally. I feel like we lack a certain connection no matter how “well” things are going. I’m having trouble deciphering if this is truly a lack of connection, or if this is me subconsciously having expectations of feeling the same way I did in my previous relationship.
TL;DR: The person I am dating is seemingly perfect in every way, but I find myself discontent and feeling we lack connection. I cannot tell if this is bc we actually lack connection, or if I’m projecting expectations from a previous relationship.