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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/BoatImmediate8262 on 2024-01-21 07:38:28+00:00.
My partner didn't want to marry me and now I have to leave the country
I (30F) have been with my boyfriend (30M) for few years now. We are an international couple living in a country in Europe where there are incredibly strict rules on immigration. He is European whereas I'm not. I came to study to this country (5 years) and he later found a job he loved here in a different city (2 years).
Now, here is the thing. After working my ass off for half a year in getting a job in this country so that I could stay with him and finally move in together, my permit is expiring in two weeks and couldn't manage to find an employer willing to sponsor my work permit.
I got a good offer in another country which in a way I was forced to accept so that I could continue growing professionally and being legally in Europe with a salary but he is not open to moving and he still feels he has not enjoyed his current country enough.
While I understand that, there was another option which was discussed many times and posed as the last resort... Getting married. Which he constantly refused as he didn't want my permit to depend on him... But this also means we are effectively forced to split paths when we had so many plans together.
I don't know how to feel. I'm leaving him and this country in a couple of months and I'm feeling like I wasn't worth the leap of faith so that we could continue building our life here. And I have never seen him as my way to get the nationality or anything, but in practical terms that could have been a possibility for us to keep building our life together.
I don't know how to feel. We're going to try long distance but part of me is resenting him. I guess all I wanted to hear from you all are some words of encouragement and maybe tell me if I'm being unreasonable.
TL;DR: After more than 5 years in country X, I have to leave because of my legal status and move to another country where I got a new job. Whereas my partner gets to stay in country X with no problem and we're forced to do long distance when there was the alternative to get married.