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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/royalturkeys on 2024-01-21 00:59:54+00:00.
So l've been away for a couple weeks (going back this week) and two weeks ago on my birthday he texted me "Happy Birthday, I really need some space and I want you to enjoy your trip so we will talk when you're back." Then that's it. Radio silence. No calls after that or anything. I texted asking for an explanation and all he says is that he wants me to enjoy my trip and grow. I tried to call a few times but he never picks up. He hasn't called or texted me at all since then. I have no clue what to do now. I'm trying to understand where he is coming from. The past few months haven't been perfect but I thought we were fine. We didn't even have a fight or anything. I would appreciate some insight on whether l'm being paranoid that he is planning to leave me or not. I know that he consistently has issues with overusing mushrooms and weed. He also randomly stops taking his anti depressants. I told him I want to do what I can to make him feel better but he didn't respond to that either. I feel really abandoned and I'm alone on a different continent entirely. We have been married a year and dated for 8 years we were planning on having children in the next couple of years.
Tl:dr - I’m away for a few weeks alone on a trip and my SO has been ghosting me.
EDIT- Appreciate all the advice and since so many have asked about checking on him- he’s fine. This is a man who gets irritated when I cry. I texted a friend because while ghosting me he’s planned a massive birthday party (ironically I planned to have a party in two weeks for my birthday but instead he had to throw one when I’m gone..) and he’s getting even more shitty tattoos (has gotten like 10 in the past 6 months)
In terms of my relationship- on our first wedding anniversary back in December he went out with friends who specifically did not want me there. I was hurt so texted him a little passive aggressively about the girl who hosted and he ignored me all night came back at 5AM and spent our first anniversary hungover. Told me that because I behaved badly by sending that text he decided to stay out later and ignore me and get wasted. Just the most recent way he ruined another big day.
EDIT 2: thanks for all the kind words and advice I have decided to extend my trip so I can actually enjoy myself since I lost a few days thanks to his behaviour.
Edit 3- I figured since I’m already deep in this hole I will mention other things that have been bugging me for a while. He is shit with money. I’m an emotional spender but that’s like $200-$300 every few months on clothes and I work full time and pay for my own stuff. He got a line of credit a couple years ago and used it all up on idk what, some on home renovations but idk what the rest is for and it’s around $150-$180,000.. we have a pre-nup (he made me sign it two days before the wedding) so I’m free of the debt but yeah. I asked him if we could make sure to communicate when spending over $300 on something and he said he would do it but I guess he forgot. He rents out the basement and stuff for money but doesn’t really include me in any of it. I know I know red flags everywhere. It’s just tough because all these things were far enough apart it didn’t seem as bad
EDIT 4- so he texted me that he’s done. Yeah while I’m in a different country. Says he’s crying too much to talk on the phone.. says it’s because he’s unhappy lately and I know that and he’s been pushing for therapy (only for me apparently) and it’s not happening. I literally told him I’m starting with a new one after my trip. He doesn’t need it though apparently. This is all the reason it’s okay for treat me like this