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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ThrowRA_Smelly_Balls on 2024-01-21 13:57:36+00:00.
I (27F) have been dating a guy (37M) for a few weeks. We see each other twice a week and text a few times a day.
Things are mostly good so far, but I’m struggling with one thing and don’t know how to talk about it.
Relevant info: he has never been in a relationship. The last time he loved someone was his high school girlfriend. When we talked about why our previous relationships ended, he responded with, “I’ve slept with people on and off throughout the years for a few months a time, but they always fizzled out for one reason or another. I never had a girlfriend after high school.” whereas I have had two serious relationships in my 20s, the most recent one ending 2 years ago. This is relevant because I don’t want to overwhelm him with a “serious” conversation of sorts when he’s never been in a relationship. I also would prefer to just handle this head on (lol) after being in relationships and appreciating direct communication, but know I should be delicate given the subject matter and his inexperience. Here we go.
The issue: When this guy drops his pants for sex, I am overwhelmed with the scent of BO. It’s distinctly BO, not anything fungal or whatever, at least not that I can tell. It makes me stifle a gag, and that’s not fun for anyone in this context. I find myself trying to avoid sex, which is unusual for me as someone who has a high sex drive. His is lower than mine anyway, which works in my favor in this instance.
The guy loves getting head, and I love giving, but I cannot get past the smell. He’s circumcised, so wherever the smell is coming from isn’t under his foreskin.
I don’t know what to do, and part of me is just considering cutting and running, but that seems unfair and rude. He’s a very clean guy in general, showers daily, has a clean home, etc., he’s just got a very smelly crotch and it’s bad no matter the time of day (unless it’s right after a shower, but he doesn’t want to do anything after those because he’s clean and doesn’t wanna sweat, which I can’t blame him for really).
How would you delicately approach this?
Tl;dr: Guy I’m dating has very smelly crotch. Guy has not been in a relationship in 20 years, and stated his previous sexual flings “just wouldn’t work out as a relationship” and “ended for one reason or another.” I cannot physically stomach the idea of intimacy a lot of the time, and need help figuring out how to approach the subject delicately with someone who might not have ever had a “serious” talk with someone he’s dated.