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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ValleGirl2022 on 2024-01-21 12:25:15+00:00.
I’ve (54F) been dating bf (55M) for about 14 months. We met online and his status had said interested in marriage (or whatever the dating goal was… it def said marriage). This would be a SECOND marriage for us, both married to narcissists and have some baggage.
We’ve talked on a few occasions about possible marriage and buying a house and how if we were to move in together I’d like to be engaged first. Anyway today on the phone he mentioned “how is anybody every 100% about anyone…” and I’m like wtf! We should not be talking about marriage or buying property together if he isn’t 100% sure about me. I mentioned to him that we should give the marriage talk a break and he seemed offended. I explained that ideally a guy should be 100% about a girl he wants to marry and THEN talk marriage and buying property together yada yada.
He wanted to talk more about his concerns and that included how just the idea of marriage worried him due to his last marriage. I told him I was hurt and that he shouldn’t be talking about marriage with me if he has issues with marriage in general. He got further hurt and now I’m questioning the whole relationship. He went on to say how much he loves me and how he sees us getting there but I’m hurt and confused and feel strung along.
No he has never proposed but we’ve chatted about it and he admits he shouldn’t have brought these marriage/property talks up. I’m beyond irritated. I don’t know where to go from here. Please help 😔
TL;DR! - after dating over a year, NOW he says he wants to be open to discuss his concerns about marriage….but has been happy to chat about marriage with me all this time. Confused AF…