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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/throwRAsmthwrong2 on 2024-01-21 00:05:48+00:00.
We’ve been together for two and a half years.
I want to preface this by saying I still love him the same, but I just don't get physically turned on the same as I used to. His muscles used to be a lot more pronounced, he has gained about 20kg and is classified as obese. He's been wanting to go to the gym for a while, and I've been encouraging him by saying we should go together as it's something I've been wanting to do, but he hasn't out of laze (?) He hasn't given me a solid reason, he just keeps saying he hasn't made his membership yet, and will do soon, so I've just been going by myself.
I probably sound really shallow for saying this but I've found myself thinking of broad backs and big arms, not on any specific man (and I don't look at other men) but just imagining how good he would look with them, which is his gym goal. I feel awful about it but his current body doesn't attract me as much. I've been doing lots to keep myself in great shape and look good, and I still regularly get hit on by guys (who I ALWAYS turn down) so I know I still look good. I still love him exactly the same, and I won't be leaving him for this, my question is, is this something I should share with him, or should I rid myself of these thoughts?
It's also made things a bit more difficult during sex as he gets out of breath easier and we have to take regular breaks.
TLDR: I was more sexually attracted to my boyfriend when we first got together, do I tell him or do I force myself to stop having these thoughts.