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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/YourMomsPetRat on 2024-01-19 02:22:41+00:00.
A while back I was in an abusive relationship and fell in love with someone else. In order to get out of that relationship, I cheated. Fast forward to present day and I'm with someone else who is truly amazing. We have great communication, and are always talking about marriage.
Earlier today, we were talking and I had an intrusive thought about cheating on her in the future. I don't like anyone else and I don't desire to be with anyone else or even cheat on her, but I started worrying, "what if I cheat on her?" And when I had that intrusive thought I felt horrible. I told her about it and I ended up scaring her and making her cry. I wish I could take that all back.
So I got on here to figure out what the hell was wrong with me, and figured out it was anxiety fucking with me and my brain being an ass. She texted me an hour ago and I explained to her what I learned and that I think that's what's causing me to think about that. I think we're okay but I want to prevent these thoughts. I've always over thought everything but it gets really stressful (obviously) and I just want it to stop, and know exactly why this is happening.
TL;DR I'm worried about cheating on my girlfriend in the future but I'm committed and have eyes for no one else.
Any advice or suggestions would be helpful.