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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ice_princess_15 on 2024-01-18 22:04:22+00:00.
Over a year ago, I ended things with my ex, B, of 5+ years (although I kind of just wanted a break at the time). It was extremely painful for both of us but I felt like I needed time to be on my own for a bit as I’d been too dependent and B had also hurt me and we needed to work on some things. We’ve actually been in contact ever since and a few months after the breakup I was crying to B saying I missed him and could only see myself with him. I realise this is unfair to put him through all this and it has been the most confusing time of my life. We have both dated other people but only recently did I meet a guy, L, who has made me not want to be on dating apps anymore- he’s so lovely and our chemistry is amazing. He has been in a similar situation to me so wasn’t looking for a relationship. I also told him I still talk to my ex and we might get back together someday. We’ve both said we like each other (whatever that means for him) but I have actually felt my feelings for him grow quite strong (we’ve been seeing each other for 3 months now). Whilst neither L or B are currently wanting a relationship, L seems quite into me (he was the one who said he doesn’t wanna see other people) but B also still loves me (he lives far away but we still text/call). He says it would take a lot of work to get back together after all that but it’s not impossible. I feel like right now I’m not looking for a relationship so this is working okay but I’m confused as I have feelings for two people and eventually I know I’ll have to let go of one of them. I’m struggling to come to terms with this but have delayed doing anything about it/having a conversation with either of them as I don’t wanna get hurt or hurt either of them. In an ideal world, I have them both, but I know that’s not possible. I don’t know what to do about this anymore. Where do I even go from here?
TL;DR: I think I love two people (my ex and the guy I’m currently dating but not in a relationship with). They both seem to have feelings for me too. All 3 of us are not wanting a relationship rn, which is delaying much needed conversations about the future.