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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/throwawaysailaway12 on 2024-01-18 20:14:54+00:00.
Our son had a medical emergency and needed to be hospitalized. He's thankfully now ok and family and friends came to visit when he was back home.
My MIL asked us about how we paid for it. My husband was upfront and said he asked our friend, Neal, for a loan and Neal covered for us. And our MIL got all snotty about it and said its embarassing how much my husband counts on our friend to bail him out. My husband tried to defend himself but our MIL got even nastier with a comment that if this keeps happening ''Sarah will think she married the wrong one.''
This is reference to me, my husband and Neal all meeting in college. To be clear there was no love traingle going on or anything. My husband and me started dating almost as soon as we met and Neal is nothing but a close friend. It was a vulgar and offensive comment.
And she still wasn't done but I cut her off and told her none of this is any of her business. Later on a friend picked up a change in my husband's mood and asked what had happened and we decided to share and our friend just double-downed on my MIL's comments.
For context, Neal does very well for himself and also got a huge inheritance from his Grandfather. Neal and my husband have been best friends for over ten years now and are close with each other's families. My husband would even get Birthday and Christmas presents from Neal's Grandparents. When his Grandfaher passed away Neal gifted my husband and me some very expensive heirlooms which kind of stand out in our home so my MIL and others know they were gifts from Neal. A few years later Neal was in a comfortable enough position that when we were looking into buying a home, he insisted on giving us a loan with a minimal interest rate to help pay part of it. Then of course its the aforementioned events with my son's medical bills.
Of course it sucks we had to resort to asking for help but my MIL and our friend absolutely tore down my husband who's just doing his best. Its been almost a week and he's still down and upset over it. i've tried to reassure him but it seemed to have really cut deep. Even mentioning something about getting a bank loan this year to try and pay off Neal's loan. Which is fine if its something he wants to do but I feel its coming from feeling hurt by what his mother told him.
What can I do here? I think I can get our friend to apologize but not my MIL.
TL;DR! Husband was basically emasculated by his own mom and a friend and seems to be spiraling into depression. What can I do?