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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/OfficeSevere9329 on 2024-01-19 08:50:41+00:00.
Been together 3 years. We don't live with each other. She visits me after work each day from 4:15pm-8pm. Most nights she will have a nap for around 2 hours as she finds work very exhausting so I feel our time with each other despite being most weekdays is pretty limited. The moment she gets to mine she will ask me how was my day and give me a hug, eat the dinner that I made since I get home earlier. From there, there is a very high chance she will go straight to her phone. After a nap the phone is the first thing she goes to. She has told me it relaxes her, I feel it is an addiction and she does acknowledge she has issues with it. I would prefer less phone use but the worst for me is when she is constantly messaging others. Example, she has a friend at work, she got to mine yesterday and was on her phone talking to him, she doesn't hide it and it's no secret she has a male friend. My issue is she was at work with him all day, and then gets home and is still chatting to him. We went to the cinemas and she kept getting notifications from him, and at traffic lights would quickly reply. I got the shits since she's using her phone while driving, and also that I am with her and would have liked her to be wanting to chat to me on the car ride, made me feel very second place.
I should note I could not care less if she messages her friends here and there, and once we move in together so long as we have couples moments I won't be as bothered, the main issue is most times outside of "how was your day", that is our whole communication for the day, then she chats heaps to others on the phone she's seen all day at work.She admits her phone use is an issue, but my main concern is she is making a subconscious choice to chat to others when she is with me, and most of the time she has got home and we haven't had more than 1 minute talking to each other without phone use. Over the 3 years I have expressed my feelings toward this multiple times, and is ongoing.
TLDR Girlfriend constantly uses her phone around me, and is messaging other people constantly instead of being present with myself.I have had this discussion multiple times over 3 years. What is the best course of action now?