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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/lila_haus_423 on 2024-01-19 05:01:21+00:00.
Hey Reddit!
Ok so I am asking for advice on a situation I’m in with my best friend at the moment. I’m 29 and she’s 31. We’ve been best friends for 7 years now. Completely platonic female friendship.
I work full-time and earn decent money, enough to make me comfortable to afford my rent, bills and have play money left over.
My friend is in a different situation. She works part-time and earns $25 less per hour than I do. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging this at all, it’s just a factual piece of information.
My friend struggles with anxiety and depression which makes it hard for her to work full-time. She struggles to afford to see a counsellor, which she has said numerous times would be very helpful to her if this were different.
Lately, I’ve noticed she’s withdrawn and isn’t as chatty as usual. She’s posted some stuff on social media with references to her mental health. Every time she does this I check in to make sure she’s ok and try to organise times to see her, in addition to trying to see her regularly anyway.
She’s told me that money is a barrier to her being able to go out and enjoy herself, and I have of course suggested doing low-cost or free activities to alleviate this stress on her. I think she avoids making plans to go out lately due to her financial situation, which I believe is making her mental health worse.
She’s mentioned to me how much she wants to do things (going for meals out, concerts, stuff like that) but because of her low income she is not able to.
My question is, would I be coming across condescending or judgmental if I offer to pay for things for her, or even give her money? It’s not my intention at all. The way I see it is, if I can afford to, then it would make me so happy to help the people I love. I would consider it a beautiful thing to be able to contribute something towards her being able to get the therapy she’s said she wants for so long now as well.
What is the best way to go about this?
TLDR; would it be condescending to offer to pay for things or give money to a friend on a lower income?